


Dark Before the Dawn

by creative_frequency



Series: And so it goes, we found our sweet disaster [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Dubious Consent, Eventual Smut, F/M, Humor, One-Sided Attraction, Romance, Rough Sex, Sexual Tension, Smut, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-03-04 11:38:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13363962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creative_frequency/pseuds/creative_frequency
Summary: After all that has happened between you and Ardyn, is it possible for you to find inner peace ever again in the middle of the darkness? Do you even want to?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  All my ffxv stuff [@tumblr](http://creative-frequency.tumblr.com).
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

Former Commodore Aranea Highwind sits begrudgingly down on the stool in front of you, predisposing herself to the scrutiny of your sharp gaze. She lets out a small sigh, but it turns into a wry chuckle.

“Tell me it’s not as bad as it looks, hon,” Aranea says, striving for a playful tone, but the strain in her voice shines through.

You remain silent and begin to unfold the bandage around her arm. The cloth is sticky from dried blood and glued to Aranea’s skin, but she doesn’t even flinch when you carefully rip it off.

“So?” she asks, prolonging the syllable.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” you comply, “ _It’s worse_. What the hell have you been up to?!”

Aranea is truly lucky to have not lost her left arm. You start to gather round the necessary supplies to patch her up – she is going to need a lot of stitches before you can use a potion to heal the rest to avoid any malformations.

“Oh, y’know – the usual,” Aranea says and tries to flash a smile, but only a painful grin comes out. She must be hurting as hell, but stubbornly tries to conceal that. You have to admire her composure, though.

“Right. ‘The usual’, of course.” You roll your eyes to the ceiling.

“I met some of the new refugees from Gralea today,” Aranea says, switching the subject to something you can chat about while you work.

 _Gralea?_ The name makes your heart jump with something you refuse to acknowledge as faint hope. There are so many things in your life connected to that place you haven’t ever even visited, and most likely never will, since the last you heard it was a dead city filled with daemons.

“Any news?” you ask in desperation for any hint, any small piece of information.

“Not much,” Aranea says and lets out another small sigh, “Things are really bad back there.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble.

“Being sorry doesn’t help anyone. You should focus on more important things,” Aranea says dryly and grits her teeth when the disinfectant stings.

The odor of the liquid is pungent and you know that at the end of the day it will have caused a major headache since you’ve been forced to sniff it constantly. So many wounded return from the missions to outside the city gates these days. You make a mental note to chastise the Marshal to send people as larger groups from now on – before there are more severe casualties.

“Yeah, I know that,” you mumble as a reply to Aranea and focus on cleaning the dirt and dried blood on her mutilated arm.

It takes over an hour until Aranea is patched up and can move her limb with only a slight soreness. You leave the cleaning of the instruments for the moment and head outside to breathe some fresh air.

It’s sad to notice how you’ve gotten used to not expecting the hot sunrays to hit your face when you walk out. You sit down against the wall and lean your head back. The previously uncomfortable warmth of Lestallum is only a memory now, the sun-scorched wall against your back only a faded dream.

What wouldn’t you give to feel it again.

“Oh, hi Y/N!” you suddenly hear Iris Amicitia call out. She has a habit of sometimes coming to see you at the clinic and maybe even sneak in a sugar bun for you to share on the rooftop.

“Hey, Iris. What’s up?” you ask, turning to look at her.

Iris is all smiles and bouncy steps and Talcott Hester is with her, holding an identical demeanor.

“Hi Talcott,” you greet the boy and stand up from the ground, swiping dirt from your butt and disconcertingly aware of the blood stains on your clothes.

“Hey miss! Guess who just called?” Talcott looks like he just saw the sun.

You raise your brows in question, but he and Iris just beam at you.

“Who?”


	2. Chapter 2

You take another nervous but excited glance at the gate of the City of Light, still shut firmly. Actually, it’s not even a gate. It’s a massive piece of metal junk, mostly consisting of rusty car husks, that has been sewn together with thick wires. It’s moved by an engine loud enough to wake up half of the city. The hunter guarding the entrance shoots you the umpteenth questioning scowl, but you just ignore it.

 _He’s late, dammit,_ you think while looking at the display of your phone. The digital numbers on the screen are the only way of distinguishing what time of the day it is. Well, besides knowing whether it is actually night or day. You’ve grown scarily accustomed to the eternal gloom and dark clouds hanging in the sky. Days are dark. Nights are darker. Not a single ray of sunlight has passed that grey mass in years, but somehow, you still hold on to the hope.

You haven’t been good at staying in touch with your friends Gladio, Ignis and Prompto over the years, and just thinking about them makes your insides coil in shame and worry. It’s a situation that has become harder and harder to fix as time passes. But now Gladio is returning to the city, and your heart hasn’t calmed down in days.

It’s been years since you saw him the last time. In fact, you haven’t seen him after Cor called off the search for Noctis and that was… over three years ago. Gladio and many others had nothing to do besides survive and wait for the Chosen King’s return, so he left Lestallum to help in whatever way he could. Or at least that’s what you assume he did.

Just when you’re starting to worry that something has happened along the way since Gladio last called you, the gate opens with a massive rumble and a familiar, broad frame stands in the narrow doorway to the city.

You can’t help the wide smile that takes over your features. Gladio’s hair is longer now and his beard is unkempt, but otherwise he looks about the same.

“Hey, big guy,” you greet him with a grin. Whatever unrest you might have harbored before meeting him, just melts away when you lock eyes. Your heart wrenches. _It’s been years._

Gladio reaches you with only a few long steps and the next thing you know, you’re being crushed in his embrace.

He doesn’t say anything. You can’t utter another word either; the wave of emotions from the reunion finally renders you speechless. A dry sob heaves your chest and Gladio gives you a tight squeeze.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you murmur and tighten the hold around his waist.

“Yeah, right back at ya,” he replies in a muted tone.

You stand still, embracing each other for a good while, letting the wordless emotions rushing through you take over. The hunter is side-eyeing you curiously along with some refugees hanging out by the gate. The scene is in no way unique in the City of Light, but witnessing such a heartfelt reunion gives people much needed hope that their loved ones too, might return one day.

“I hope you’re hungry cause I made some food. It’s not much, but it’ll fill you up,” you say as you finally let each other go.

Gladio beams at you, one hand still on your shoulder. “Not hungry – starving.”

“I want to hear everything you’ve been up to,” you say cheerfully. Everything feels just the same as before. Like the long years have not driven the feared wedge between you two. The worry escapes you with each eased breath. “Iris will come by later too. She was asked to help out at the power plant today.”

“Too busy to come meet his own big brother, huh?” Gladio scoffs in amusement.

You nudge his bicep. “Can’t make the whole city stop just for your visit.”

You begin to walk towards your apartment through the main promenade. Your heart feels lighter than in a long time and you clutch into that feeling like it were a life buoy.

You sneer and roll your eyes when the only person you’ve been vehemently trying to avoid in the city is once again within your sights.

“Oh, so _he_ is your boyfriend now,” Tredd Furia says in a lazy tone and gets up from the crate he had been sitting on – no doubt waiting for you to return from the gates, since you didn’t tell him who you were going to go to meet. It was none of his business, but curiosity got the best of him. Not like he had anything better to do anyway.

“He’s not my boyfriend, Tredd,” you snap back and earn an impudent grin.

Gladio looks from the redhead to you in question and folds his arms over his chest. He never approved of you dating Tredd ages ago and it looks like his disapproval has extended to any interaction between you and your ex. You mirror the Shield’s motions.

“Then that means you’re single, right? And you being single means–”

“Drop it,” Gladio grumbles, bluntly cutting Tredd off.

You want to tell him that you don’t need help in dealing with your insufferable ex, but force a smile onto your face instead. _Gladio is only trying to help,_ you remind yourself, _Just take a deep breath…_ There was always something in Tredd that made your blood boil. There was also a time when it wasn’t in a negative way.

Tredd gives an “are you fucking kidding me” -look at Gladio.

“Right, ‘sir’. I won’t bother you anymore, ‘sir’.” His tone is inherently mocking and he bows his head, but Gladio just rolls his eyes as a reply. Tredd never had much respect for the future king’s Shield and he hasn’t grown any in the past long years.

“Let’s go, Gladio,” you say, steering him away from the red haired imp. You throw one last annoyed glare at Tredd, which he receives with dirty wink.

After biding your time for years, you now finally have someone within your grasp from who you can ask all those questions laboring your mind. Questions about what happened in Gralea with the Crystal, how Noctis disappeared, where the guys exactly where when it happened and so on.

And of course, what was Ardyn’s role in it.

After returning from Gralea, Ignis gave you the short version of things as the memories and the pain were still too fresh in everyone’s minds to be shared. You don’t remember much of that day anymore. You were too shocked to discover Ignis having lost his eyesight and Prompto being separated from the guys. All of it was just too much to take and on top of that Noctis was gone, so you never returned to the topic.

But now enough time has passed, and you are ready to push Gladio for the answers that have been plaguing your mind.

“So where is everyone? Is Iggy still”–you make quotation marks in the air with your fingers–“‘fishing’ in Galdin?” you ask quietly and focus your attention to the food on your plate.

“Yeah… He is. Haven’t heard anything about Prompto in a while, though,” Gladio replies with a slight furrowing of his brows. He is concerned about his friends, as always. The three of them haven’t hunted together in years and slowly, but surely their contact has been waning. They’ve grown apart, which is only natural, you suppose. Without a king to serve, they had to focus their efforts into something else.

“Prom was here not too long ago,” you say and grin, “He came to see Cindy. Poor guy.”

You both laugh, regaining a shred of a familiar and forgotten feeling. It’s safe and it warms your very soul.

“I assume he’s well?” Gladio asks, “Not been doing anything reckless?”

“Mm, he’s good, I think. And don’t worry; I’ve been scolding him every time he needs to be patched up.”

You notice that the smile on your lips is truly a genuine one. The conversation flows on easily and Gladio shares stories about his comings and goings in the recent years. He has wanted to visit Lestallum for a long time now, but there has always been the next hunt, the next dangerous daemon to be taken care of, or a delivery to protect.

You know Gladio has been in touch with Iris almost daily, but the little sister is still cross on principle with her brother for visiting so seldom. She has been begging Cor to be let out on a mission, but so far everyone in her close circle agrees that it’s best for Iris to stay within the safe walls of the City of Light. But that doesn’t mean Iris hasn’t done everything she can in helping the refugees, hunters and the glaives.

Besides, no one wants to be the person to tell Gladio that Iris went on a hunt and never came back.

The conversation turns to you, but honestly, you don’t have much to share. Ever since the guys left Lestallum, you have been meticulously tending to your duties as a nurse, healing, soothing and training people in need. Your life settled into a dull rhythm very early on the fall of the darkness, and hasn’t changed much since.

The only groundbreaking event in recent years was the time Ardyn visited you, but that is not something you wish to reveal to Gladio. Not even over your dead body.

You’ve been thinking about that night probably more than what is healthy – all the words you said to Ardyn in the waves of different emotions, all the touches ranging from harsh to gentle, from painful to soothing. You still can’t hate him, but that is not for the lack of trying. All the things left unsaid sometimes overwhelm you and you let your mind wonder about what could’ve been. Still, you know things are better the way they are now.

When things are like this, your heart feels only numb and that is something you can live with and survive to die another day.

“So… Wanna talk about what happened in Gralea?” you ask quietly, when the conversation pauses for a moment.

Gladio’s gaze falls down and he leans back in the seat, crossing his arms over his chest. He sighs heavily. A part of him has always expected this. It’s not a surprise that you want to know. If anything is surprising, is that you waited for so long to ask that question. “What do you wanna know?”

“I-I never got the full story…” you begin tentatively, “Noct disappeared and… Ardyn was responsible for everything, but…”

Gladio glances at you at the mention of Ardyn’s name. “Yeah, well… I’m not so sure you really want to know _everything_.”

You take a deep breath. “Was it really that bad? What was in Gralea?”

Gladio examines your face, thinking how to phrase his answer. He is not really eager to go down the memory lane, but since _you_ are the one who asked, he will tell.

“Daemons – daemons is what was in Gralea. They made them there.”

“Made?” you repeat stupefied.

“Yeah. And a shit-ton of ‘em,” Gladio grumbles.

“I assume you got into trouble then?” you urge him to continue and lean forward, elbows on the table.

Gladio scoffs. “It was a tough break, but somehow we got through it. We got separated from Noct before even setting foot into the keep. Iggy was… handling himself as well as he could and eventually we found Noct and then Prompto. He was in a pretty bad shape then.”

You listen with widened eyes, thoughts rampaging through your mind.

“So how exactly did Noctis disappear?” you ask, sitting on the edge of your seat.

Gladio averts his gaze from you. “He… He went ahead to the Crystal. We got attacked by a mass of daemons. By the time we got to him, he was already gone.”

Your expression becomes stern. “And Ardyn was there.” That much you know from what Ignis told you years ago. Ardyn was also in Altissia; he murdered the Oracle and tried to kill Noctis too. Ignis never explained to you how he lost his vision, but you have always assumed it has something to do with his encounter with Ardyn at the Altar of the Tidemother. That is a one more reason for you to vow eternal hatred towards the auburn haired, atrocious man.

Gladio nods curtly. “Turns out, that asshole can’t be killed.”

The falling silence rings in your ears. Gladio stares at your face as the gears turn inside your head, jammed by the incredulousness that has been sitting in the back of your mind ever since the guys’ return from Gralea.

“What?” You let out a light laugh, completely taken off guard by Gladio’s serious statement.

_Can’t be… killed?_

“The guy should be in pieces and filled with bullet holes.” Gladio doesn’t hold back the resentment from his voice and grits his teeth.

“What are you saying, Gladio?” you ask in a meek tone, trying to comprehend the words, “Did you try to _kill_ him?” Ignis was so kind and didn’t mention that minor detail. Maybe he thought you didn’t need to know.

Gladio nods again.

A wave of anger flushes through you and instantly afterwards you know you shouldn’t be feeling like that. Not towards Gladio at least.

“You tried to kill him… He didn’t die,” you gather, blinking rapidly, trying to sort out your thoughts, “So… so just what exactly is he?”

“Want my best guess? Some sort of daemon since he just got up after being shot.” Gladio shrugs. He has been over the situation hundredths of times in his head. It still makes no sense.

Another flash stings your heart and you shoo away the feeling away faster than you can comprehend where it’s stemming from. You have everything you needed to know now. Things couldn’t be simpler.

_Ardyn is the bad guy. He is meant to be killed. He is a daemon._

Oh, how right you were on that last night together by calling him that. All this time you simply thought he is just a man – the mastermind behind everything, his only fault the lust for power and murderous intent.

How wrong you were.

Remembering that last night together now in the light of this new information makes you shiver. _Just what exactly did I get myself involved with?_ That is a question you don’t want answered. You feel nauseous and light-headed, and lean heavily to your arms on the table. Now more than ever, you’re glad that your paths with Ardyn haven’t crossed anymore.

Maybe you can finally gain peace now.

“Hey, are you okay?” Gladio suddenly asks concerned, “You’ve gone all pale.”

“I’m fine,” you assure, not believably at all. Your mind is racing in overdrive, thoughts darting back and forth.

Gladio’s brows furrow. “If you wanna rest, I can go see Iris by myself.”

You shake your head vigorously. “No, I’m fine.”–Gladio tils his head incredulously–“Really. This is just… a bit shocking news.”

He examines you with worry in his features. “Told you, you don’t really wanna know.”

“No, it’s good that you told me. Thank you.” You inhale deeply, the spinning of your head slowly settling.

“Alright then.” Gladio’s gaze is still stern as it studies your expression. “Wanna talk about something else?”

“Nah, we should probably go find Iris now.”

A few days pass and Gladio stays in Lestallum for the while, much to your and Iris’s joy. He takes time to talk with every hunter and glaive in town, exchanging information and even sparring with some. Naturally, he takes the chance to challenge Tredd into a match and it’s not beautiful to watch.

Gladio gets his ass handed to him. To his defense, Tredd has a more wide variety of skills in his use, since his Kingsglaive magic returned after the Oracle’s death. Also the fact that Tredd would rather die than let Gladio beat him in a friendly duel, while Gladio is just trying to get a hang of the glaive’s potential might.

Afterwards, the redhead makes a point in gluing himself to your company whenever he sees you without the Shield. He is trying to woo you, very obviously, and it’s almost as amusing as it is annoying. You know Tredd is doing it partially because he wants to anger Gladio, but also because he doesn’t have enough outlets for Tredd Jr.

If someone besides Iris and yourself is happy to see Gladio again, it’s Vyv Dorden, the president of Meteor Publishing, in his dirty, white “Eat. Live. Breathe. METEOR” -t-shirt. He has a photographer photoshoot every drill Gladio takes part in and eventually you have shoo the guy away to have some sense of privacy when you move around the city.

Days pass and the longing to be out there and help is gradually becoming painstakingly clear in Gladio’s demeanor. Watching hunters and glaives come and go every day while he sits around is difficult for him. It amuses you, since it’s the exact same feeling you have been fighting for the last few years.

“There are a lot of people with medical skills now. Why don’t you go out for a mission every now and then?” Gladio asks when you’re getting ready to turn in for the night. Gladio is staying at your place since it would be weird for him to stay with Iris and her roommates, who are all young girls.

You shrug, unable to speak because of the toothbrush in your mouth.

“Might do you some good, y’know,” Gladio continues and you turn to return to the bathroom when he starts to change into another top for the night.

You spit the toothpaste into the sink and reply through the open door.

“So what do you propose?” You walk out and lean on the doorframe with folded arms, looking at Gladio.

“Why not come with me tomorrow?” Gladio says casually – suspiciously casually.

“Go with you? Where? Did you forget to mention about something?” Your tone is a tad accusing and your thoughts go into Iris, who would be eternally furious with you if you left the city without her.

“Uhh, yeah,” Gladio scratches the back of his neck and sits down to the bed, “There’s this arms shipment that needs to be escorted to Galdin.”

“Galdin? That’s quite a long trip.” You walk to the couch and flop down. You’ve been sleeping on it since you’re more petite than the behemoth of a man Gladio, and he has taken your bed. Your roommate is away at her boyfriend’s place for the duration of Gladio’s visit. Letting Gladio sleep in the bed where you have done… things with certain someone was embarrassing enough, and the lewd grins and winks from your roommate didn’t help your already flustered state before she left.

“Yeah it is, so the company would be welcome.” Gladio manages an easy, comforting smile.

You hum in thought. _Doesn’t sound so bad to get out of this crammed hellhole for a bit._

“C’mon, Y/N. I assume you can still shoot straight. What do you say?”

You smile back at him. “Alright then.”

_Maybe going outside the gates will do me some good._

Twenty-four hours later, you come to regret that decision – bitterly.


	3. Chapter 3

In the following forenoon, you leave from the City of Light with a truckload of weapons. Your planned route is to first head north, then through Kelbass Grasslands and from the south side of the Disc towards Vannath Coast, where Galdin Quay resides.

It’s really refreshing to feel the cool air whip your face while sitting with your back against the crates, chatting with Gladio. Iris was absolutely livid with both you, but everything goes fine and smooth until your entourage is slowed down by a pack of rampaging garulas. You have to take a small detour to get past the beasts both parties unharmed.

This leads to your schedule getting delayed, which results in the night creeping up on you while you are still in the middle of nowhere, somewhere between Causcherry Plains and the Fallgrove. Night falling down with no safe haven nearby is never good, especially so when daemons lurk behind every rock and curve.

Sooner than later the truck is attacked by arachnid daemons and their tarantula minions. Stopping is no option. The daemons would weave their webs over the vehicle in mere moments, essentially dooming every living soul in it and by extension the people waiting for the weapons shipment. Gladio urges the driver to step on the gas, while you try your best to shoot every daemon that gets too close.

You are almost out of the range of their deadly webs when one sticky string spins around your leg. It catches you completely by surprise. Your bones feel like they crack and your body stretches when you’re yanked down from the platform of the speeding truck. Only vaguely you hear Gladio yelling after you.

The clatter of the razor sharp teeth and demonic giggling fills your ears. Without thinking, you summon your dagger. You hastily cut the web around your knee, and then stumble up, starting to run aimlessly away from the daemons. Every inch of your body is in pain from the fall onto the asphalt and your lungs are on fire, but you keep running as the instinct to survive takes over.

In the back of your mind you know there is no way you could outrun something with three pairs of legs.

In the truck, Gladio is yelling at the driver.

“TURN AROUND! We gotta go get her back!” He can barely see your form anymore, chased by the arachnid daemons at your heels. It’s as if the darkness itself is trying to devour you.

“AND KILL US BOTH? Are you insane?!”

“TURN AROUND! NOW!”

The driver puts his foot down, and just when Gladio is about to jump off the truck, he shouts: “Didn’t she travel with you and the prince? She’s able to take care of some daemons!”

Gladio can’t argue with the sentiment. He should – but he knows it’s true, so he falls back from the edge of the platform.

“We need to get these weapons to Galdin! Or a lot more people will be in danger,” the driver continues, relieved to see that the Shield hasn’t jumped off yet and left him alone.

Gladio nods curtly, not caring does the other man see it or not. He can only curse and pray for the Astrals that his trust isn’t misplaced.

The Arachne on your heels catches up with you and hits your back, causing you to stumble and fall to the ground with an inelegant thump. You shove your dagger into the creature’s leg, only just stopping it from impaling your chest with a claw that still slices your left side, drawing a healthy amount of blood to the ground. The daemon lets out a terrifying shriek, but the clattering of countless nearing legs against the road doesn’t stop.

Another batch of web sprawls around your ankle as soon as you get back up, and no matter how hard you try to run and pull yourself free, the daemon has an inescapable grip of you now.

_This is it._

Ugly jaws snap in the air above you and the form of a cruel, but beautiful woman watches down on you from top of them.

You inhale sharply and close your eyes, prepared to feel the sting of final pain when sharp claws run you through.

_I should have never left the city,_ is your last thought, formed in bitter regret.

You wait.

But nothing happens. You sit still, limbs sprawled in different directions on the cold ground. Your body is shaking with fear and adrenaline. The angry snapping and clatter of teeth still is the only sound in the air, but it’s slowly retreating, giving space to the heavy heartbeats in your ears.

The creatures fall back tentatively into the darkness, almost as if they were begrudged to do so. Their glowing eyes are still fixated hungrily into you.

“Well?! What are you waiting for _daemons_?! Make it quick!” you scream in defy and spread your arms. You’re shaking.

Then, a familiar, oily voice rings out – a voice you haven’t heard in a long time.

“Oh, they recognize their Queen.” The tone is languid, pleased and almost humorous. Heavy footsteps draw closer.

It feels like a block of ice falls into the pit of your stomach. Instant wave of goosebumps forms onto your skin, making the hairs stand on your arms. You turn around towards the sound, not even daring to breathe or blink.

_This can’t be real… There is no way–_

Ardyn looks _exactly_ the same as all the times your paths have crossed before. His black fedora is sitting on the dark auburn locks, his attire is still the same flamboyant mess of layers and the charming smirk on his face still makes your heart jump and spur into a race. Heat flushes into your belly and a part of you wants to leap into his safe and familiar arms.

Except that you’re not so sure you can no longer call them safe or familiar. Ardyn is something completely else than what you thought he is. Yet his presence before you feels the same: Inviting and compelling, a mystery you want to get to the bottom of.

But this is the first time that you’re also scared of him.

You can’t utter a word when Ardyn walks over to you, throws a scornful side-eye at the daemons which makes them scatter into the darkness, and then reaches his hand out in a grandiloquent manner to help you up. You don’t take it. You just stare at his handsome face in a mixture of disbelief, fright and joy.

_How is this possible?_ Is the only clear thought you can muster.

Ardyn examines you intently with his gaze and his brows furrow slightly when he sees the bleeding wound on your side. He crouches next to you, and you keep staring at him, unable to move. The stinging pain in your body is gradually making itself known, demanding attention.

“Oh, darling, _why_ did you leave the safety of the city?” Ardyn asks in an insincerely woeful tone.

“I…” You take a wavering breath, gazing into his beautiful amber eyes. “The daemons… I… died… right?”

Ardyn smirks dryly and your breathing stammers at the sight. You want to touch his face so badly, to feel that he is real under your fingertips. All the secondary thoughts of him being a daemon you should only want to kill fly out of your mind.

“I’m afraid I’m not going to let you go so easily.”

_Let me– What?_

Ardyn takes hold of your arm and healthy right side, and carefully helps you to your feet. The touch is warm and gentle. His scent hits your consciousness in the middle of every other unpleasant sensation and somehow you feel calmer already; even still, your heart is beating madly inside its cage. Your mind wants you to run as fast as you can, but your heart wants to leap into Ardyn’s arms. And yet, your body is too confused, occupied by too many things tearing it into different directions to move a muscle.

_He’s exactly the same,_ you think vaguely and try to stand on your own two feet to get rid of the burning touch. You need to get some space; you need to clear your head. The whole situation is unreal. It’s just not possible that he would be there when you yourself even have no idea of your current whereabouts.

“You’re hurt,” Ardyn says. All of the amusement and mock is gone from his tone and replaced with poorly held back concern. You think you see rage flash in his eyes as they flick towards the direction where the daemons fled, but the emotion is gone faster than it appeared.

Only then you realize how much it _really_ hurts. You mewl lightly from the throbbing pain and your hand feels out the wound before you can tear your eyes off of Ardyn’s face.

Looking at your fingers a second later, they’re covered in fresh, red blood. Suddenly you feel nauseous, which is really ridiculous since you’re a freaking nurse and used to seeing ample amounts of blood on daily basis. Maybe you lost more of it in the scuffle than you thought, causing the dizziness.

“W-what are you doing here? How did you find me?” you ask meekly, trying to hold on to the rational side that asked the questions. At least your body starts to work on autopilot and form a makeshift gauze from your jacket. The night is cool, but you would rather be cold than bleed dry.

Ardyn makes an impassive shrugging motion. “Aren’t you glad that I did?”

_Of course he would answer with a question._ You bite your lip and tighten the jacket-gauze around your waist so that the sharp pain from the compression masks the throbbing one from the wound.

Of course you are happy to be saved from bloodthirsty daemons, but why now of all times? Ardyn’s timing is suspiciously impeccable, and if you were to dismiss the fact that the daemons just scattered at the sight of him, you still wouldn’t know are you glad to see him.

Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. It’s hard to focus on such trivialities when your life was just about to end. The tingling at the bottom of your stomach still disagrees, as does your fluttering heart.

“I’m not sure…” you reply tentatively, well aware of the piercing stare as you work to check your other injuries, which fortunately seem to be minor, though troublesomely scattered around your body. Sleeping is going to be hell for the following few days – if you manage to live for that long.

“Well, I missed you, darling,” Ardyn confesses nonchalantly as if he was talking about the weather.

There it is. The words are so infuriatingly casually spoken and sincere that you almost look up from your wounds. Your heart skips a beat, then spurs into a race again. Heat rises to your cheeks and the uncomfortable hot feeling in your belly whooshes downwards. The fear for your life is gone, for now, as your body can’t handle so many strong emotions at the same time. Suddenly breathing becomes very hard and you’re glad that you can busy yourself with inspecting the contusions from the webs.

“Really?” you ask, trying to sound disinterested, but your tone is too weak to play it right. It gives you away and nothing could make Ardyn more pleased.

He hums in content and lets out a small chuckle.

You don’t want to look up and see the charming smirk on Ardyn’s face, lest your self-control would let you down. It’s frightening to realize that none of the feelings you held for this man have dissipated despite everything you now know about him. _He is a monster gods damn it. Get a grip._ You still want to leap into his arms, but also run away. The conflict strangles your heart and makes your chest feel tight.

Your hands are still moving on their own and you’re just about done with treating your injuries, so you dread the moment when you have to face the amber gaze again.

“Do you think I would lie to you?” Ardyn asks softly.

You want to reply, but stay your tongue, instead leaving the question to hang in the air. _Why is he like this? Why do I…_

Your hands are shaking, so you pause.

_Why do I still love him?_

A deep inhale does nothing to clear your spinning head.

_I hate him._

“I-I need to call Gladio. Tell him– tell him I’m okay,” you stutter, fumbling to dig out the phone from your pocket and silently praying that it didn’t break in the hassle. It’s your only anchor to reality in the situation and the thought sets the smallest amount of sense back into you.

“By all means,” Ardyn shrugs and motions for you to proceed.

With bated breath you press the button to light the screen. The phone is unharmed and you almost let out a relieved sigh – but then you notice that the battery is conveniently almost dead. You haven’t used the phone once since charging it for the journey.

_It was full this morning,_ you think incredulously, staring at the screen and wasting precious time and battery. You try not to look at Ardyn, who is standing only some paces away and inspecting curiously your every motion, while you find Gladio’s name in the contact list.

Gladio picks up instantly. _“Y/N! Are you okay? Where are you? I’m coming to get–”_

“I’m okay, Gladio!” you interrupt, “Listen, I’ll catch up with you–”

_“What?! That’s too–”_ he roars.

“LISTEN. My battery is dying so I gotta save it for an emergency, but I’ll get to Galdin… somehow. Just wait for me, okay?” you plead. You’re at least a day’s walk away and the dark night is upon you. The chances of surviving are slim at best. You fight the urge to take a glance at Ardyn, who pretends not to be listening to your conversation and seems to be terribly interested with something on the ground.

Gladio falls silent. He barely dares to breathe as he grips his phone, knuckles white.

_“…Alright. You better promise me.”_

“I promise,” you say without hesitation.

_“Good. I’ll be waiting then.”_

Without further ado, you close the call and clutch the phone against your chest. By masking the motion with uncertainty and restlessness, you pace around some steps in order to get away from Ardyn’s circle of influence.

Thoughts are rampaging through your head: How possibly can you keep that promise? The lands are teeming with daemons. There is even one standing right in front of you with a light smirk on his stupidly handsome face.

_How is this happening?_ You think desperately, chewing your bottom lip and looking around. Your eyes have grown accustomed to the darkness by now and you can see the road disappearing into the distance. There is not a single light in sight.

“So determined,” Ardyn chimes, slight admiration in his tone. You ignore the words, so he continues. “You’ve only grown more beautiful – despite the darkness. Such a rare flower indeed that can thrive in such conditions…” he murmurs almost to himself.

You can feel the sharp amber eyes on you, but you still refuse to face them. “Well, the years have been long,” you say impassively and tighten the gauze once more to busy yourself.

_What the hell am I going to do now?_

“Hm. More or less,” Ardyn remarks back, “But I was looking forward to this.” He makes a motion between you and him, rendering it painfully obvious that he always knew you were going to meet again.

Truth be told, you always knew it as well, but these are certainly not the conditions you had in mind.

_This can’t be happening._

Slowly and carefully, you look up from the wound that has already stained through the fabric of your jacket.

You nearly take a sharp inhale as your former lover stands right in front of you. Ardyn’s features look so soft, almost dreamlike. His beautiful eyes are inspecting, weighing, your expression, noticing every little change as different emotions flash through you. The crooked smile on his face is breathtaking, or maybe you’re just suffering from blood loss and severe trauma from the incident with the daemons. Either way, your heart starts drumming in a faster pace.

“I thought we agreed to never see each other again,” you say. The persistent obtrusive heat is pouring into your nether regions as you think about those hastily whispered promises – hot lips on your skin, fingers weaving into Ardyn’s soft hair, his stubble grazing your inner thighs...

You swallow hard.

“Very well, then. I shall take my leave, if you so prefer…” The tone is annoyingly smug and knowing. He is playing you, just like he always has. He has you tightly wrapped around his little finger and you both know that.

You purse your lips together and close your eyes, inhaling slowly through the nose. While you’re not keen on giving Ardyn what he wants, you really have no choice if you want to stay alive.

“Wait.”

Ardyn chuckles.

“I have missed you. I’m pleased to see that you have longed to see me again too.” There is a load of seduction in the tone and you have to force your thoughts straight.

You groan inwardly. _Why is he like this?_

Gods, how can your body still crave this man so much? The thirst you feel towards him is unreal and it’s consuming you.

_How bad would it be to just... give in... Just this once?_ You mentally slap yourself. _Don’t even think about it. You’re lost and bleeding in the middle of fucking nowhere, surrounded by daemons, so stop thinking about his dick._

But such is the effect Ardyn has always had on you.

The crooked smile on his lips widens when the telltale heat rises to your cheeks again.

“Can you help me get to Galdin?” you ask, changing the topic.

He quirks a brow at you. “I thought you’d never ask, darling.”


	4. Chapter 4

Walking in the dark night is no leisure stroll. It’s pitch black with only a few lone shimmering lights that are sometimes visible in the horizon. Without Ardyn, you probably would not have lasted for ten minutes – after the imaginary case in which you miraculously survived the first daemon attack.

There are eyes _everywhere_. As you pace forward on the broken asphalt road, you constantly hear the sounds of daemons sprouting from the ground: The low creaking of metal bending right before a massive, fiery sword emerges from the darkness, way too close by for comfort. Or the skittering and maniac snickering of goblins and their red light balls that are just quick shapes in the shadows that your eyes can barely catch.

Ardyn does not seem disturbed or interested at all in the terrifying growls and light footsteps that keep following. You try not to think about the reason for this as you walk beside him, grinding your teeth together in pain and fighting to stay conscious.

_You’re just in shock. It’ll pass. Focus now,_ you tell yourself.

Unfortunately for you, Ardyn notices your struggling.

“Here, take my arm,” he offers in that infuriatingly soft tone that used to just melt you. It still would, given the chance.

You decidedly move to walk a step further away from him. “I’m grateful for your aid, but…”

“But?” Ardyn raises a brow elegantly. The beginning of a smirk starts forming on his face.

It’s obvious that you’re fighting your feelings for him. He knows exactly the effect he has on you and he enjoys far too much seeing the conflicted expression play on your face.

“Please don’t come near me,” you say quickly. Too quickly.

Ardyn pauses, but the devious smirk spreads further on his lips. “Oh? I was under the impression you rather like it when I’m _near_ you.”

Your heart makes a somersault. Damn, you want this man’s hands on your body, feeling out your back and hips, holding you rough and close. You’ve never wanted to kiss someone so badly. Or to slap yourself.

“You seem a bit tense. Are you in pain? Is there something I could do to help with that?” Ardyn hums with concern, but the smirk is still very evident.

_Fuck my brains out._

“No,” you reply in a clipped tone. Just when he takes a step towards you, you swat at the air dismissively and hastily shake your head. “It’s good. I can walk,” you assure, but your breathing is heavy and the wound feels like it’s on fire. Getting excited is literally bad for your health in the current situation, but trying to force your body to calm down has no effect.

Ardyn shrugs nonchalantly. “Ah, too bad then. I could’ve carried you.” He sounds impossibly teasing, just waiting for you to give in.

You shoot him a bewildered look and quicken your steps, making him take few long strides to stay in your pace.

Ardyn grins. “I still can, my dear.”

You shiver at the deep seduction in his voice, remembering how it felt against your ear.

“No thanks…” You grit your teeth together, keenly staring straight ahead so you won’t even accidentally take a glance at the evil Chancellor.

“Come now, it’s no trouble at all. Be rational.” Ardyn sounds way too pleased at the situation and another wave of shivers runs through you.

“I’ll let you know if I change my mind,” you finish the topic decisively.

Ardyn smiles wryly at your cold reply.

Not long after, he begins to hum the chocobo-song again. Begrudgingly you think back to how you heard it years ago. Things were simpler back then and for a moment you wish you could have that blissful ignorance back. So much has been lost and everyday more people fall prey to the horrors of the darkness and the Starscourge. You send a silent prayer into the air, hoping that your friends are alright and Noctis will return soon.

Ardyn is still humming like nothing could ruin his mood.

“Too bad no one _sane_ moves on these roads after nightfall. We could have thumbed our ride to Galdin,” he muses, sounding way too happy about the current situation.

“So– where’s your _automobile_?” you ask with a barely hidden grimace of annoyance. How does one even say ‘automobile’ without snickering?

Ardyn throws a side-eyed look at you – maybe he distinguished the mock in your tone, but he pays no mind to it. “I’m afraid she is currently unavailable. Did you want to try the backseat again, my dear?”

The insufferable grin he flashes at you has you groan at his triumph. The words achieve their purpose as you feel the tips of your ears burn.

_Can he not flirt with me all the time? Gods._ You’re trying so hard to keep staying alive as your number one priority.

“We’d better make tracks. It’s a long walk to Galdin,” you say evasively and steer your mind to more innocent places.

“The faster we walk…”

_Places_ that have no body hovering over yours, where your leg is not over a warm back nor there are greedy hands and lips ravishing your skin.

“The faster… we will…”

The scent of the purple leather seats in Ardyn’s car mixed with his own cologne is imprinted into your brain for eternity.

“…Get there.”

Why is it so hard to think straight with the man just a few feet away from you? Wherever your mind goes, he stands in its path.

“Are you truly going to walk the whole way?” Ardyn asks in a tone that makes it clear how disastrous your plan is.

“Then what do you suggest I do?” you scoff. You refuse to recognize the desperation in your words.

Ardyn clears his throat softly. “I think _we_ ”–he glances at you pointedly–“should find a place to rest for the night. There is a high chance we might encounter someone to give us a ride to the shore by day.”

“Sleep in the same room with you?” you snort and your heart starts drumming uncomfortably fast at the thought. Ardyn raises his brows at your strange reaction. “I’d rather fight all the daemons alone from here to Hammerhead.”

Ardyn sighs and rolls his eyes. “Be sensible now, my dear.”

“Umm. No,” you quip back, hastening your steps. The sooner you get to Galdin and rid of Ardyn’s company, the better. Why did you leave the safety of Lestallum again? Who even needs a change of scenery? You should have thought this through better.

“Your friend will surely come looking for you in the morning, so don’t you think it best to just seek shelter and stay out of harm’s way?”

You have to admit, Ardyn does have a point and judging by the smug smirk that’s playing on his lips, he knows it too.

“I’m only thinking of what is best for you, darling,” he continues in a tone so affectionate that you feel how your heart starts to race uncontrollably and warmth whooshes into your belly.

His good intentions are freaking you out. The last thing you want is to spend a night confined in some hole with your ex-lover – you suppose that is what he is – while daemons roam outside and Gladio is worried sick about you. The smoldering, expectant heat in your body makes you even more reluctant.

You take a deep breath through the nose, the expansion of your lungs making the wound pulse with pain once again. It’s best to just take careful, shallow breaths.

“For arguments sake, let’s say you are right: We should rest for the night and continue at dawn”–Ardyn nods gracefully at your hypothetical approval–“But in case you haven’t noticed, we are in the middle of nowhere and there is nothing but holes filled with daemons here. Or were you going to sleep on a tree branch?”

“Oh, have no worry – I know just the place.” Ardyn’s grin is unsettling.

_Of course he does. What did I even expect?_

“Really?” you ask slowly.

You weigh your options: To spend the night with Ardyn, who still hasn’t explained how he found you just in the right moment, or to literally risk life and limb to continue walking? Neither of the options is tempting, but you have to admit that sleep sounds good and walking with the wound is painful, to put it mildly. One night is not going to heal it, but gathering your strength might not be a bad thing.

_Or sitting down to talk with Ardyn,_ you think and sneak a glance at him.

“Fine then. Lead the way, Ardyn,” you sigh in defeat.

He hums in pleasure at hearing his name from your lips – the hum coddles your hearing and makes a sudden tender wave flood into your stomach. “It’s still a bit of a walk ahead, so we’d best hurry.”

“Right…” you mumble and press the wound on your side to get rid of the tender feeling.

Ardyn sees the motion and his brows furrow.

“How is your injury? Should I take a look?” he sounds nothing if not concerned, but there is a sly undertone – a poke to see your reaction.

The memory of the last time he “took a look” at your injury rises a ravaging blush to your cheeks. You ease the pressure of your palm. Ardyn just put you into the same situation on purpose and you hate the way the words instantly made you feel. You should probably prepare yourself for an endless torment whilst in his company.

“You must be getting old since you already forgot which one of us it the nurse,” you joke nervously, not looking at him. Your fingers fidget with the improvised gauze on their own and your heart is pounding inside your chest.

Ardyn scoffs in amusement. “Oh, I haven’t forgotten. I am simply concerned, my dear.”

“I’ll live,” you assure in a tone that signals the end of talking about the subject.

You walk forward in the darkness for a few moments. Your footsteps as the only sounds in the environment since the daemons seem to have given up – for now. You didn’t even realize when they stopped sprouting from the ground and following you. You’re not sure if it’s a good thing that you lost track of your surroundings while conversing with Ardyn.

“Speaking of injuries… I heard you were shot,” you say determinedly before your sane thoughts can prevent the sentence from flowing from your lips. The words are spoken on a whim, since deep inside you know you would have never brought it up had you stopped to think.

Ardyn halts and your steps cease too. Did you just make a huge mistake? Your heart is hammering inside your chest, anxiously waiting for his reaction. It’s too late to take it back now.

“I suppose there are a few things we should discuss,” he says slowly, intense gaze fixated onto you. Every shred of seduction and playfulness in his demeanor falls with the notion.

You swallow. It’s hard to face the amber eyes that seem to burn in the darkness, but it’s now or never if you really are going through with this.

“Don’t bother. I know already.” You can barely breathe.

Ardyn tilts his head. “Oh? Forgive me, but I seriously doubt that.” His tone has dropped. It’s a cautious, warning one, but also curious.

You remain silent, taking solace in the fact that if he was going to kill you, he probably would have done so already.

“Do you really want to know?” Ardyn asks quietly.

You face the indecipherable look in his eyes and nod. “Yes.”

A blink passes. Then a second.

An inviting, charming smile spreads onto Ardyn’s lips. “Then ask.”

“How did you survive?” you ask tentatively, both intrigued and terrified. The crushing feeling of standing at the edge of the truth is overwhelming, but there is no turning back now. It’s time. And you’re probably as prepared as you will ever be.

“We’ll come to that… but first, I apologize for deceiving you in one thing, my dear. Allow me to introduce myself properly.”

You frown. _Properly?_

Ardyn smirks. “Ardyn Lucis Caelum.” He bows his head politely and inspects the horrified look on your face.

_Lucis Caelum?_ The heartbeats are ringing in your ears. _That means… No way…_

Ardyn waits for your initial reaction to pass.

“I-I don’t u-understand,” you splutter, the words hardly coming out, “Were you _a king_ of Lucis?”

Ardyn sighs theatrically and paces closer to you. “If only. No, but my brother was. He snatched the throne and cast me into exile.”

_But that means… that means…_

“And this happened… _When_?” you ask, your voice a mere whisper.

Ardyn looks slightly conceited and waves his hand disinterestedly in the air. “Some odd two millennia ago – give or take a few centuries.”

You can’t breathe. Your lungs are being crushed by the dizzying blood rushing in your veins, trying to circulate the non-existent oxygen. The man standing in front of you… he can’t be killed… Does that mean he is… immortal?

Gladio’s words float into your mind: _“Turns out, that asshole can’t be killed.”_

_What’s going on?_

“So you’re not from Niflheim…” you say in a strangled voice. Why is that the first thing you can gather from Ardyn’s shocking revelation? Is that truly the thing that has most bothered you about him? That he is from the enemy nation?

Ardyn lets out a light chuckle. “No, I’m not. Niflheim did not even exist when I was born.” He lifts his hand, about to touch your shaken appearance, but eventually decides against it and lets the hand drop.

You are captivated by the searching look in Ardyn’s eyes as he is committed to catching every small change in your expression, desperate to read the train of thoughts charging forward inside your mind. Your sanity slowly starts returning, along with a million questions. “How are you still alive?” is the first one of them.

Ardyn ponders his answer for a moment, but your attention is already moving on to the next, more burning one.

“A-are you… are you a daemon?” you ask in a mere whisper with widened eyes.

Ardyn forms a gibing smile, eyes never leaving yours. He lifts his hand again and this time caresses your cheek.

The touch sends a stunning jolt of electricity through your system, leaving a trail of scorching tingles in its wake. In that moment your body gains the upper hand from your mind, but the shock is still rendering you frozen in place. Every fiber of your being is begging for Ardyn to lean down and kiss you, but you cannot move to take the initiative yourself.

His fingers are warm. On the outside you don’t even flinch.

“No, I’m not a daemon,” he finally says and lets go of you.

The spell breaks. You let out a very evident sigh of relief that amuses Ardyn greatly. “Is that all you wanted to ask of me at this moment, darling? I think we should start moving.”

You blink rapidly to shake the heady feeling. The aching is gradually calming down. You can think again and have control over yourself. “I… What are you trying to achieve?”

“Right now, I’d very much like to taste those sweet lips of yours again,” Ardyn muses, the smirk of amusement still persisting.

You lurch back. He is teasing you again, not moved at all by the evident shock on your features. The answer is obviously meant to throw you off, but you know Ardyn well enough to know that he is not going to give you any other reply.

The Q&A time is over, for now.

You continue the walk on the dark road. The scenery is slow to change and silence looms over while your mind is in overdrive. Instead of mulling over what you just heard, you’re trying to go over every word, every bit of information and revelation to imprint them into your memory to be inspected later when the time is more opportune.

_He is a Lucis Caelum… He is older than Niflheim… He is not a daemon…_

As you walk onwards, Ardyn throws light questions about you: How you’ve been, what you have been up to, have you been outside the city a lot and such. You give him short replies, not focusing at all on what comes out of your mouth. He seems to understand that you have a lot on your mind and doesn’t push you for answers. He just continues the pleasant chatter to fill the silence and to make the journey feel swifter.

“Ah, we’re almost there,” Ardyn suddenly says and nods towards the darkness.

You can’t see a thing. Or hold on, maybe you can see something… some dark shapes – shapes that are rapidly coming closer along with the sounds of multiple paws hitting the ground.

Snarling and yapping quickly fills the air as you are surrounded by a pack of luckily only three Sabertusks. One of them is visibly larger and oozing the same black miasma that daemons emit. Half of its fur is black and lilac, messy tufts growing in strange length across its sides. As if someone unskilled tried to shave the creature and left the job halfway.

You stare in horror at the pair of yellow eyes. There are clots of black matter dried in the inner corners. The beast does not look healthy at all and suddenly a wave of fear grabs you: You didn’t know animals could be infected with the Starscourge.

Ardyn steps closer to beside you, arm hovering protectively in front of you. You summon your gun, aiming at the one beast that is trying to circle to your backs and shoot without hesitation. Your shaky aim is off, but the bullet grazes the creature and makes it back away.

A short sigh of relief leaves your lips, but a flaring pain in your side turns it soon into a heavy groan.

“I thought daemons avoided you!” you snap, trying to distinguish the other more or less normal looking Sabertusk in the darkness while holding your side with your free hand. Not that it does anything to help with the agony.

The alpha Sabertusk begins to slowly stalk towards you with the smaller beast at its back, both growling in a threatening tone. Their gazes are fixated into you – the weak link, an easy target and prey.

Your breaths are painful wheezes. It’s hard to aim correctly, not to mention to keep the gun up. The adrenaline in your veins is making you nauseous. You’ve had too much excitement for one evening.

“Back off. The lady is with me,” Ardyn says in a voice that makes every hair on your body shoot up. It’s a dark snarl that instills fear deep into the listener’s core.

The smaller Sabertusk halts and stays tentatively in its place, weighing the risk and reward in the situation.

But the infected half-daemon is not fazed by mere words. It stares hungrily at you, growling in a low tone, black ooze dripping from its open mouth and from the tip of its long tongue. You have never seen anything more repulsive or frightening.

You swallow. Ardyn walks towards the beast. He lifts his hand into the air, and dark violet miasma glows eerily around his figure. You can only see his backside and not the source of the unholy light, but it slowly grows as he speaks. The glow absorbs every shred of light around it, making it hard to look at.

“I said…” Ardyn takes another step. “ _Back off._ ”

A loud whoomp hurts your eardrums and you’re forced to close your eyes just when a massive spiral of dark, glowing _something_ shoots towards the daemon. It hits its target and the animal whimpers as it’s flung into the air, landing several yards back. The other beast skitters into the darkness with its life.

You freeze, too terrified to make a sound. You stare in horror when Ardyn lets out the smallest sigh and turns, naturally a charming smirk on his face.

His amber gaze meets your popeyed expression and for a shrill moment he looks amused.

“I’m terribly sorry about that, darling. Daemons…” Ardyn rolls his eyes theatrically, lightly shaking his head and walks over to you as if he just did nothing else than scolded his dog.

You want to laugh, but your body refuses to fill the air with an incredulous snicker or any sort of comforting sound.

_Everything is fine. He won’t hurt me._

The words ringing in your head are the furthest thing from reassuring.

“Darling, are you feeling unwell? You look a tad pale,” Ardyn points out. He is now only a few feet away from you.

You want to run, or just stumble backwards, but your body is frozen still, too stunned from fear to move. You hate feeling helpless. You hate being powerless and not in control of your own body and emotions. Why is it always that in Ardyn’s presence you lose that power?

“Hmm?” Ardyn hums in question. Your eyes lock.

You realize you’re breathing extremely heavily. _He was just protecting me. Everything is fine._ You look like a cornered prey before a predator: Incapacitated, just waiting for the final blow.

Ardyn lifts his hand – the same hand that just blasted the beast – and extremely gently caresses down from your temple to your cheek.

“I apologize. I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he murmurs. His touch is soothingly warm and you can feel how his fingers jar against the cold sweat on your skin.

_It’s okay. I’m okay._

A wavering inhale envelops you with Ardyn’s scent and _somehow_ you feel a bit safer.

“Dear?”

You desperately need something else to focus on than the encounter with a daemonified Sabertusk and the revelation that Ardyn indeed has some hidden dark powers. So far it has been a distant concept to you, just something you assumed to exist but never actually thought to be true. Now you know he is dangerous in more ways than you could have imagined.

_He said he isn’t a daemon._

You take deep breath and turn Ardyn’s hand away from you.

_What is he?_

“We should move before more come,” you say in a distant tone that doesn’t sound like you at all. The faint shaking of your frame is the only telltale sign of how shook you are. Too much has happened in the span of few short hours and your body is trying to do what it can to shield you from any more traumas, focusing on your physical wellbeing at first and not allowing you to remember any of the images you just witnessed.

The cut on your side is still stinging, but the blood stain has ceased from spreading. Nevertheless, you will be lucky to stay on your own two feet through the night.

Ardyn’s brows furrow at your odd tone. He doesn’t move an inch.

The endless tide of different emotions is crushing you from the inside, but you’re projecting only numbness outward.

“You asked me how am I still alive after all these years…” Ardyn says slowly.

Your eyes widen slightly as the only sign of surprise at his choice of topic.

“I will tell you – if you wish to hear the story.”

Three seconds pass, then you nod and Ardyn begins to talk.

“In an age long past, an incurable scourge ravaged mankind – not unlike the one we witnessed just now,” he pauses, allowing you to process the words, “In Lucis lived a savior that could cure the afflicted.”

Ardyn releases you from his intense gaze and turns away.

“His body would come to host myriad daemons, that countless lives be spared.” There is evident bitterness and sadness in his tone and hearing that coming from _Ardyn’s_ mouth is jarring. It makes your heart wrench.

“But a jealous king, one not yet chosen by the Crystal, ostracized and demonized this healer of the people… Making a true monster of him.”

Ardyn’s earlier words ring in your mind. _My brother… He cast me into exile…_

“He… the king… exiled… _you_?” The words hang in the air, sucking the oxygen from around you. Suddenly you feel cold, so cold that the chill makes your teeth clatter and you embrace yourself to repel it.

Ardyn still doesn’t turn to face you. “It makes a wonderful tale, no?” His tone is raw.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper in a thin voice.

Everything else feels numb besides the cool air surrounding you, forming goosebumps onto your skin. The incredulousness that lived in the pit of your stomach for so long is now gone and it has left a hole in its wake. Your body is fighting to keep that space empty; to not give you any more emotional labor. You are already shocked and confused enough, and the warm feelings you had towards the man in front of you are still biding their time somewhere inside you.

There is only so much your mortal body can take – physically and mentally.

“Let us continue. The old motel is just a short shot away,” Ardyn says and turns. He looks as if nothing just happened, mostly at least, since the charming smirk on his lips has no effect on his eyes unlike it usually does.

Still, the emotional moment is evidently gone and you’re left to clutch to the leftovers of your rational outlook on the world.


	5. Chapter 5

After the short walk in the darkness, to which your eyes have grown scarily accustomed to, you arrive to a lonely, sad-looking building on the side of the road. You don’t remember encountering it on your journey with the prince and his retinue. It’s clear that the dwelling has been long since abandoned, possibly even before the fall of the darkness. The red neon-sign looming over the main door is broken with only the three first letters readable and its metal parts rusty.

“Charming,” you mumble and walk past Ardyn, who looks at the building from under his brows.

After everything he has told you during the last few hours, you can’t stop to think anymore. You just have to push onwards, convincing yourself that there will be a time when you can focus on those thoughts, and maybe, just maybe, it’ll clear your head a bit.

If there is anything good about the wound on your side, it’s that the constant ripples of pain keep you firmly grounded to the present, pulling you from the ocean of confused thoughts and questions. Though, the bad side is that you have lost a lot of blood and currently have no real way of treating the injury. So you just have to hope and pray that it won’t get infected and that the daemon claw didn’t have poison in it.

“Hmm. It’s smaller than I remembered…” Ardyn says half-audibly and sighs.

You glance at him and turn to look for any signs of occupants. Luckily there are no broken windows or suspicious sounds coming from inside. Hope rears its head inside you. You don’t really care about the quality of the accommodations as long as you no longer have to be a daemon bait. Literally anything is better than spending the night outside. While you haven’t been followed anymore for some time, you are not stupid enough to think the daemons would’ve just completely given up.

You continue towards the entrance and see a crooked “Out of Business” -sign plastered on the inside of main door’s glass. Below it is another sign saying: “Hunters welcome!”

You try the handle. The door is securely locked, as expected. With a discouraged frown, you turn to Ardyn.

“Allow me.”

You step aside and watch as he kicks the door open. The loud crack of the lock giving in echoes around you, emphasizing the surrounding silence. Ardyn goes in first to make sure the coast is clear and you follow with meek steps, cursing the stinging pain in the wound.

Ardyn marches to behind the reception counter. “Which room would you like, darling? There’s plenty to choose from.”

“As long as we get separate rooms, I don’t care,” you reply as you look around.

Ardyn scoffs in amusement and you hear the light clink of keys as he grabs one from the board behind the counter.

The motel interior is actually rather nice despite the tacky neon-sign outside. The floors and walls are wooden and there are plenty, almost too many, paintings, old photographs, postcards and such on the walls. It looks like the place was left to wait for someone who would start to run the business anew since there are no papers anywhere, but everything else is neatly in place. The reception room has a homely feeling, but the emptiness twists it towards creepy.

_How old school,_ you think. You knew Lucis outside Insomnia was underdeveloped compared to the Crown City, but inside the dusty old motel it feels as if time stopped decades ago.

“Have you been here before?” you ask tentatively, not entirely sure if you want to know the answer.

Ardyn only flashes a mysterious smile and motions for you to follow. “This way, please.”

He leads you to the end of the hallway and stops in front of the door that has the largest number on it – a golden twenty-one. He unlocks the door and gentlemanly holds it open for you. You hold back an eye roll at the motion.

“You’ll be safe here for the night. I guarantee it,” Ardyn says as you walk past him. The door shuts after him with a satisfying click.

The dark room is a much like the ones you have stayed in with the guys after leaving Insomnia, complete with a dull color scheme and heavy drapes. There are two beds, both covered with striped quilts, an old television and dust everywhere.

You heave a sigh. The moment you see the neatly made bed, exhaustion washes over you. You just want to flop on it and wake up when the sun comes back again. Now that you’re allowed to pause to breathe, a million thoughts rush into your mind along with the painful need to check your wound.

“How are you feeling, my dear?” Ardyn asks concerned and walks after you into the room.

“I’m fine,” you reply dismissively and totter towards the bathroom with the intention of inspecting your injuries there. You try the light switch and immediately afterwards feel extremely silly. _Of course there is no power. What did I expect?_

You can hear the scraping of matches just before a faint, warm glow paints the floor boards under your feet.

“There were candles?” You turn around and close the bathroom door.

Ardyn places a single tall and slim candle to the table. “Just this one, I’m afraid. I’m sure there’s more somewhere else.”

The living fire makes you feel a lot better. Being in the dark for too long has a way of dragging a person down unnoticeably and you feel as if you gain new strength from staring mesmerized at the flame.

“Or we can always set the drapes on fire,” you joke wryly.

Ardyn puffs in amusement. “I’m sure we can find other ways to stay warm, darling.”

“No thanks.” You roll your eyes to the ceiling and sit down to the bed, then pull the candle carefully closer.

The light is way too dim for you to do any proper inspections, but you try your best. The blood-stained, completely ruined jacket is partly dried against your skin and you rip it off extremely carefully so the wound won’t start bleeding profusely again. Then you take your shirt off, forced by the situation to not care how much skin you reveal to Ardyn. At least you’re wearing a sports bra instead of a regular one.

Ardyn watches silently as you take a deep breath and cast your eyes down.

It doesn’t look as bad as you thought. Actually the cut is pretty clean, though dirtied from the blood that still keeps dripping slowly down your exposed skin. The wound stretches just from above your left hip bone to under your breast, shallowing on its way up.

“Can you go find a first aid kit? There’s gotta be one for hunters somewhere,” you ask from Ardyn and he tilts his head slightly before moving. For a second you think he will refuse to run the errand for you.

“Well, since you asked... Do you require anything else?” You don’t like the smile that spreads to his lips.

“Oh, yeah – any potions you can find. Doesn’t matter if they’re expired. Thanks…”

Ardyn lets out the smallest sigh since he can guess what you need the hunter’s first aid kit for, but stays silent.

Meanwhile he is searching outside the room, you carefully feel out the edges of the wound, not bothered by the blood that stains your fingertips. You’re lucky that the Arachne didn’t cut any deeper or your ribs would’ve been badly damaged. Just the two lowest of them were hit, but not enough to be torn. Hopefully.

Examining the injury makes you feel slightly better: It’s deep in the lower end only and while you’ve lost a lot of blood, at least it’s a relatively clean cut. You don’t want to think about any possible internal bleeding you might have and hold on to the hope that a potion will take care of it. If Ardyn can find the supplies, you should be able to stitch yourself up pretty well. For a moment you mentally prepare for the possibility that you might have to burn the wound to seal it.

“I suppose since you _are_ a nurse, I shan’t be worried,” Ardyn says as he paces back to the room.

You pull a wry grin at him. He places the decades old med kit and a small cardboard box next to you to the bed. Then he proceeds to light the two candles he brought.

_Alcohol doesn’t have an expiration date … Right?_ You wonder as you roll open the disinfectant. The smell is ten times worse than the modern ones you have used and you cough, the forced motions making drops of blood spill from your side to the bed covers.

“Shit…” you curse and check the contents of the med kit and the box.

A shaky wave of relief washes over you. There is a needle and sutures, reserved for any hunters that might have happened to hunt in these parts. It looks like the kit has never even been opened before. Lucky you. Also in the box there are two potions and you don’t want to know the expiration date.

_I’m gonna make it through this._

Ardyn takes off his coat and sits down on the opposite bed, brows scrunched deeply together as he watches you.

You grab one potion, shake the bottle lightly and crush it against your palm just over the wound. You feel nothing, just as you were afraid. There is no tingling sensation like there should be, and the essence of the potion just vanished rather than enveloped your side with turquoise sparks.

“Must be too old,” you mumble to Ardyn’s wordless question.

You decide to try another approach so you grab the other potion, lean back on the bed and shake the bottle more briskly this time. When your position is good, you open the potion bottle’s cap as fast as you can and messily spill the vanishing liquid over the wound.

It works. Drops of the healing essence pour into the wound and it sends a tingling jolt through your spine. It doesn’t knit your skin together almost at all, but your main goal is hopefully achieved.

_Maybe that’ll take care of any internal injuries,_ you wish and toss the empty bottle back into the box as you get back up. You feel slightly better.

“Admirable ingenuity,” Ardyn coos and you can almost detect a hint of relief in his expression.

You scoff, then take a clean cloth from the med kit and douse it with the antiseptic. It stings like hell when you even put it near the wound; the vapor from it is so strong. You bite your lower lip and as quickly as you can, wipe the skin clean around the cut.

You attach the suture into the needle and take two deep breaths. The equipment is ancient, but you’re lucky that places like this usually have extensive first aid kits to help out the hunters. Maybe Ardyn knew that too? You grimace inwardly.

“Are you sure about this?” Ardyn asks quietly. A small trail of blood trickles from the wound over your clean skin.

You nod curtly. Your hands are steadier than how you feel. You _have_ to stitch the cut. It’s too deep for the bleeding to stop on its own otherwise.

“Distract me,” you say on a whim.

“Pardon?” Ardyn quirks a brow at you, but the half-smile reveals that he heard you quite well.

“Just… just talk about something,” you huff and try to get into a more comfortable position to start the procedure, “Usually you don’t shut up even if I tell you and now you’re just sitting there and gawking at me.”

“Now, now, my dear. No need for such”–Ardyn leans forward, elbows resting on his knees–“hostility.”

You scoff and would roll your eyes if you didn’t have to keep them fixated on the needle that is about to pierce your skin. The wound is numbly aching, still stinging a bit from the disinfectant, but you know that the second the needle sinks into your epidermis, it’s going to hurt.

Oh, it’s going to hurt like hell.

Ardyn takes your deep inhale as a sign to start distracting. “Is there a particular topic you would like to discuss? Or are you content with just listening to my voice?”

_Why does he have to sound so charming, but smug? Asshole._

“What… ever…” you mumble and clench your jaws. It has been a while since you’ve had to stitch yourself, and it’s in no way a pleasant reoccurrence. Maybe you’re already delirious from the pain, but the sting of the needle is not as bad as you would’ve thought.

“I used to have a chocobo,” Ardyn says.

The sentiment is _so_ distracting that you have to glance up midway of pulling the thread through your skin.

“W-what?”

 Ardyn smiles almost tenderly, about to dive into some distant memory, judging by the look in his eyes. “Yes. A black one… In ages past they were more common.”

You don’t know what to say. Out of all the things you expected to come out of Ardyn’s mouth, chocobos wasn’t one of them.

“We had many, many ventures together, scouring the face of Eos.”

Ardyn speaks in the same pleasant tale-regaling tone you heard on your first meeting at the outlook in Lestallum. He tells you about the dangers they encountered together with his faithful mount, leading to nights spend in pouring rain and trying to seek shelter. An unheard warm fondness is lilting Ardyn’s voice and you notice how soothing it is to listen to.

Your hands are moving on their own. You can feel the sharp stings of pain on top of the humming one underneath, but somehow they’re not registering into your brain. You snap the thread and place the bloodied needle on the nightstand. _Almost done…_

“Done already?” Ardyn asks. His eyes never left the gruesome task of yours while he spoke.

“Still need to put on the clean gauze,” you say weakly and turn to take the med kit that is no longer on the bed next to you.

“Allow me,” Ardyn murmurs with a roll of clean bandages in his hand and the beginnings of a wry smile on his lips.

“No, I can do it myself.” Your voice is all but convincing and while you feel tremendously relieved that the wound is now properly treated, the burst of functionality that allowed you to get it done is crumbling away. Your hands are shaking again.

“Be sensible now, my dear,” Ardyn pleads.

“No. I’m the nurse here.” You stretch out your hand to take the bandages.

Ardyn partly sighs, partly groans in exasperation. “While that is true, we both know it’s easier if you just accept my help.”

You stare darkly at the expectant look on his face.

“…Fine.” Your hand drops.

Ardyn moves to sit to your left side and takes off his gloves in a ridiculous, flamboyant manner that makes you groan inwardly. Then he rolls up the sleeves of his white shirt. You try not to look at him or his bare hands because it only would cause you to think about the other times he has been sans gloves.

Ardyn takes the disinfectant to wipe the excess blood from your skin. The heavy odor makes you wrinkle your nose and you mentally prepare yourself for what’s about to come.

Bloodied cotton pads pile up on the bed and you try to focus on something, anything else than the man sitting uncomfortably close to you. You stare off into the distance while his hands work, carefully wandering on your skin and not even bothering to try and act completely decent. You don’t dare to point it out lest he would only get bolder and you would get carried away.

But damn if the touch doesn’t feel good.

You chew your lower lip, forcing your brain to disregard the inviting, familiar scent floating into your nose from Ardyn’s auburn hair. You choose not to see the glances he passes to you, only waiting for you to break and finally give in.

He is so gentle that your heart is aching and the tender feeling is crawling back inside you.

You whole being is aware of how you would be able to do absolutely nothing if he would kiss you now. A part of you, which is quickly becoming the majority, even wants him to. The touch is so warm and caring. The fingertips so tender. Every other emotion is burned when lust coils inside you, setting your body alight.

And all you do is sit frozen still, silently begging for Ardyn to be done with the bandages soon.

Seconds pass in painful silence. You try to focus on the fluctuating pain on your side and not look at Ardyn’s face so close to yours. You breathe in and breathe out… slowly.

“There. All better.” His fingers linger on the fabric, making sure it’s smooth against your skin.

“Thank you,” you mumble and wait for him to retract, which takes forever while you’re still immobilized.

Ardyn sits onto the opposite bed and you hastily pull the shirt back on, relieved to cover your body again. You spend a moment realizing how dirty and torn your clothes are from the game of cats and mouse with the daemons.

“I-I should probably text Gladio that I’m okay…” you begin to fill the silence.

“Yes, that would be for the best so he won’t worry in vain.” Ardyn relaxes on the bed, casually eyeing you.

You take your phone and tap the screen on, glad that you’re able to tell Gladio that everything is fine for now and you’re finally about to get some rest.

But nothing happens. You tap the button again. And again.

“Everything alright, my dear?” Ardyn asks in a tone that is too sly for you to miss.

“M-my phone died…” you splutter in panic.

“Oh, that is unfortunate. I’d offer for you to use mine, but alas, I don’t own such a device,” he says almost humorously and you’re at a loss on how to react.

An uncomfortable feeling strangles your heart as you try to think through the situation. Gladio knows you’re alive and you made a promise to meet him in Galdin. Maybe that will keep him from worrying too much, but other than that, no one knows where you are. Hell, even you don’t know where you are.

You glance at Ardyn. He looks unbelievably content and relaxed as he takes his coat from the bed and gets up to hang it near the door. His beloved fedora and gloves are on the nightstand and you can almost hear him humming again as he rolls his sleeves down.

Meanwhile, you’re in pain and lost. Mild panic and exasperation pound your temples like an approaching storm.

_Did he do this? Could he have… done all this?_

“You seem awfully happy considering the situation we are in,” you note, “or rather, _I’m_ in.”

Ardyn looks up to you with raised brows, a mask of perfect innocence on his face. “Oh, I assure you, I take no pleasure in this,”–the playful lilt drops from his voice–“but I won’t lie to you and say I haven’t enjoyed your company.”

You scoff dismissively. You’re so done with Ardyn’s sweet talking. What is he even trying to achieve? If he thinks you will jump his bones if he keeps flirting, you are more than ready to prove him wrong.

“Well, I’d much rather be back in Lestallum already than here with you, no offence,” you say passive-aggressively. You don’t like the look of the grin that spreads to Ardyn’s lips.

“Snappy,” he only remarks.

You sigh, holding the irritation inside you and start peeling the dusty, blood-stained blanket off the bed. You can’t wait to get under the covers and sleep. The day has been the longest in your life and you’re exhausted and annoyed at Ardyn’s façade attitude.

“The night is cold. Perhaps we should share the bed,” Ardyn smirks in a suggestive tone.

_THAT’S IT._

“In your dreams, Ardyn! Enough already!” you yell and slam the blanket to the floor. A cloud of dust flies into the air, almost provoking the autonomous reaction of coughing. Your heart is hammering inside your chest, wild from you finally taking a stance and protesting.

Ardyn’s devious grin quickly dissipates as he examines your stern look. “Careful, darling. You’re injured. Best not get too excited.”

“I’m not getting ‘excited’!” you claim, but the sharp pain on your side disagrees. You have one job and it’s to make sure your stitches don’t open.

“Oh? Are you sure about that? Perhaps there is something we could do to help you relax?” Ardyn says blatantly and you growl out loud at him.

“Stop teasing me all the time!” you scream at him despite him standing right in front of you. You are fuming, not even realizing your hands are balled into fists and your glare is fixated into Ardyn’s passive reaction.

“There is a connection between us. You feel it too, do you not?” He takes a step closer to you and you immediately back away while furiously shaking your head.

“Shut up. There is no ‘us’. There is no connection.”

There was a time when you would have liked nothing more. Still, the words make your heart flutter with hopeless desire.

“I can see the struggle inside you. Why are you resisting?” Ardyn asks softly in a tone that is melted dark chocolate – sweet, but slightly bitter.

“J-just stop it!” you splutter angrily, “There is nothing… I don’t want to talk about this.”

Denial. Refusal. There is nothing more you can say or do. You just want to escape the situation.

_Why is he forcing me to do this?_

Ardyn lets out the smallest sigh before turning his eyes back to you. “You’ve never been good at admitting your feelings, my love.”

Your heart jumps. “I’m not playing your wicked game, Ardyn,” you say decisively, trying so hard to disregard the truth in his words.

Ardyn grins impishly. “You know what they say about war and love.”

You shake your head, as if it would make what Ardyn is implying less true.

“No. You should leave me alone.”

“We both know you don’t want that.” He sounds so impossibly cocky and knowing that it’s one of those moments when you just want to hit him with a chair.

“I’m going to get another room.” You try to move past Ardyn, but he takes a step to block your route.

“I can’t let you do that,” he says calmly.

The splash of fury ignites inside you. You stare vehemently at Ardyn, drilling holes into his stupid face with your piercing stare. You don’t even realize you are moving until you grip his shirt violently and try to push him out of your way. The freshly stitched wound on your side sings in pain, but you ignore it. It’s secondary to the burning hatred scorching your insides, demanding to become manifest.

Ardyn barely shifts, but you don’t care that you would have no chance of forcing him to move even if you weren’t injured. There is no way you could physically force him to do anything.

While you still grasp his white shirt, his hands clasp around your wrists. His grip is like a cage that instantly contains your rage, but it only inflames you further.

Ardyn pushes you down to your knees on the floor. You try to scuffle yourself free, but its futile. He crouches in front of you with a concerned look in his eyes.

“Are you quite done, my dear?” he asks while you still try to pull your hands away like a trapped animal trying to escape.

Your knees hurt, your left side is on fire and while your eyes fill with tears, you’re still blinded with rage. You wish you had never met Ardyn. You wish you had never fallen for him. You wish you had never left the City of Light. Desperation washes to the shores of your mind like a tsunami.

It feels as if your whole life has been just a series of mistakes, all leading up to this point where you are beaten and bruised both emotionally and physically. You want to cry for help, but there is no one who could come for you.

The only person who was able to save you from the sweet placidity of death is already in the same room with you, and the feelings you harbor towards him are causing you to burst at your seams. You hate the situation and the excruciatingly obvious fact that despite everything, you still love him.

You can’t take it anymore.

In a sudden movement you push forward, causing Ardyn to lose his balance and fall on his back while surprise flashes through his face. You straddle him, breaths heavy and throat dry. Your hands are shaking and you can’t stop staring at him. His expression is blank, but a glint of curiosity catches your eye.

You summon your weapon and push the muzzle against his jaw.

“I’m immortal, remember?” The tone is low, almost daring you to pull the trigger.

“I don’t care.”

“Then shoot me.” He manages to shrug and pull a taunting grin.

You push the muzzle forward again. Ardyn looks at you with his amber gaze, waiting for your next move. He doesn’t even pretend to be in any danger.

Seconds that feel like hours pass and your dedication crumbles.

“I…” Your grip weakens and the muzzle falls down to his neck. “I… can’t.”

Ardyn takes the weapon off of your limb hands and tosses it away. It lands with a metallic thud against the wood, and after a second it disappears in a flash of blue embers.

With one swift motion, he pushes you off of him and pins you against the cool floor, hands above your head. It takes several seconds for you to realize his grip _hurts_.

“That’s enough,” he whispers dangerously, stern amber eyes never leaving yours.

Your mouth opens and closes, trying to reach the words that keep slipping off your tongue. There is no softness in Ardyn’s demeanor. No sign of the man you have fallen for.

“You seem to have lost your fire…” he says and presses his nose against your cold neck. He inhales deeply and hums in gratification.

The weight of his body on top of you is familiar and inviting, making yours to ache. You’re dancing on the fine line between tossing your pride away and escaping with its leftovers.

_I should have never let you inside my heart,_ you think and squeeze your eyes shut. Ardyn’s scent floats into your nose. You want to be burned under his touch, to feel that searing connection with his skin against yours all the while you know you shouldn’t be feeling that way.

“Would you like some help in rekindling it?” Ardyn’s tone makes a shiver run down your back.

You swallow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be two endings in this story: VERSE 1 & VERSE 2. Both of these continue straight after this chapter, but act as their own individual endings. I hope you'll enjoy them ❤️ Let me know which one was your favorite!


	6. VERSE 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been the most difficult one I’ve written. It has also served as a great practice of processing difficult subjects and generally writing angst. Still, I didn’t want to drop the challenge and I’m quite proud how it turned out since I didn’t have a clear outline before starting to write this. As you might realize, this verse still leaves some questions unanswered and I’m not gonna lie - there probably will be a continuation once I figure out how this mess is going to end. Thank you so much for tagging along and reading this piece of fan fiction. I hope you have enjoyed it so far. ❤️

The air is still as you take in a shallow, shaky breath. Ardyn pulls back to better see your reaction to his question. His expression is waiting, but otherwise unreadable.

_“You seem to have lost your fire… Would you like some help in rekindling it?”_

You inhale again. This time you feel a hint of resolve returning with the breath.

_I’m not going down this path again. Never again._

“No. Get off me.” Your voice is louder and stronger than even what you aimed for, but the underlying fear is still unmistakable in it. There is only so much you can fake.

Ardyn tilts his head and quirks a brow in curiosity. He releases the grip on your hands. You can breathe again. You wriggle away from underneath his body, pushing his chest with all your strength.

You can’t take it anymore. You don’t want to be touched by him – you _can’t_ be touched by him. No matter how much your skin is tingling or how your heart hammers with anticipation, it’s over between you two.

Getting involved with someone from the enemy nation didn’t seem so bad, but getting more deeply involved with someone who is actually an immortal and harbors myriad daemons in his body, is bad. Really bad. The rational side is your only consolation and you hold on to it like you were drowning.

Ardyn lets you shove him off of you and a pleased grin forms on his lips. “That’s more like it,” he says. The almost cheerful tone belies the displacency underneath.

He wanted a reaction out of you and that is what he got. While it might not have been what he was expecting – he certainly didn’t expect you to pull a gun at him – he knows it reflected your current preeminent feelings and inner strength. That is the only the thing he could’ve asked for.

But frankly, he was surprised at the outcome.

You were pushed to the edge, but you didn’t cave. You didn’t break under the pressure. Instead you fought back. You said “no” and Ardyn respects that, even while he knows how your heart flutters every time he gets closer and how your eyes light up when you see his face. Your body has long since betrayed your heart and mind to him, but if you so insist, he will wait for you.

Ardyn offers his hand to help you up from the floor, but you don’t take it.

“I’m going to sleep now,” you mutter, not sparing a glance at him. Your heart is still hammering and you feel like throwing up. You’re still mad at him for acting like that, for trying his tricks on you.

_I just threatened him with a gun. And he doesn’t seem bothered at all._

You decide you want the trip to be over already.

“Rest well, my dear…” Ardyn says softly and watches as you delve under the bedcovers. He sighs wistfully and calmly paces to snuff out two of the three candles.

The following night is a difficult one and it reminds you too much of the one spend in the backseat of Ardyn’s automobile. You lie on your side, facing away from Ardyn while he stands by the window, peeking out from behind the sheer curtains into the darkness.

Now that you’re lying down and have relatively calmed down, you realize how much the wound on your side pulses with dull pain. If only you had a proper potion with you, but those were left in the truck with Gladio.

_Gladio… I want to go home…_

Just thinking about the Shield and how worried he must be makes your heart wrench. You hope he doesn’t do anything stupid and go out in the dark night to look for you. You hope Ignis will be in Galdin to talk some sense into Gladio. Ignis has always trusted your word, even when it has not been worth the trust.

Slowly, you start to drift into restless sleep while Ardyn has given up on staring into the darkness and turned to look at your slumbering form. You’re barely conscious enough, but too exhausted to realize how he walks over to you and gently touches your shoulder.

If you keep your eyes tightly shut, you can imagine how the sunlight would creep across the floor to tickle your skin. You feel how the weight of Ardyn’s body presses against your back, his hands snaking around your frame and pulling you closer. You’re shivering under the covers and his warmth is very welcome in shielding you from the cool night.

“Mm, how I’ve waited to have you in my arms again, my love,” Ardyn whispers into your ear and it sends pleasant tremors down your spine.

You’re too drained to reply, so you just hum contently, wiggling to settle into a more comfortable position. Ardyn’s crotch pushes against your rear and you shamelessly grind yourself against.

The labored and surprised grunt Ardyn lets out is your reward, so you continue the motion, feeling how his member hardens through the fabric. His hand snakes under your shirt to caress your breast and travels down, helping you out of your pants.

You sigh in pleasure when Ardyn’s fingers reach your slit, teasing it carefully and beginning to rub circles that have you push your naked rear against him more enthusiastically. You relax into the touch, letting the warmth of his body envelop you. Your eyes are closed and you focus only on the contact of his fingertip on your sensitive skin.

“You were supposed to rest…” Ardyn husks in amusement and you grind your hips backwards once more in reply.

“I am resting,” you murmur.

Ardyn removes his hand just for long enough so that he can release his confined erection. His meaty girth slaps against the back of your thig and he guides it inside you without any further dalliance. You bend your body eagerly, readily accepting him inside you.

A pleased moan escapes you when Ardyn begins to move, pumping his wide shaft in and out of you in a leisure pace. His finger returns to its place between your legs and you melt into his embrace.

The love making is gentle and sweet. There is no rush to anywhere, no rush to reach the finish line. You both enjoy the ride, taking the time to build up the sensual pleasure.

“You’ve become such a dangerous habit,” Ardyn coos in a soft tone, so close to your ear. You love his voice.

“Dangerous?” You let out a light, breathy giggle. He feels so good finally inside you.

Ardyn kisses the back of your neck, moving on to your shoulder. You can hear his breathing; tickling your skin and getting heavier with each slow stroke.

“I can’t seem to let you go…”

“I don’t want you to let me go,” you reply breathily and push your hips back to have him deeper inside you.

Ardyn’s pace quickens slightly and the motions of his fingers become firmer. You feel the release itching in your body, waiting to be fully build up to ecstasy.

“There is something I need to tell you.” Ardyn kisses the back of your neck, hot breaths warming your skin.

“What is it, Ardyn?”

He presses another small kiss onto your skin and inhales your scent.

“I love–”

You wake up; hot and bothered on the inside, but covered in cold sweat. You inhale sharply in the darkness and blink rapidly. You push the covers off and sit up in a motion that has your wound remind you of its existence. The cool air makes you shiver. You’re fully clothed and alone in the bed, but the craving inside you is eating you alive.

“What did you do?!” you shriek, turning to Ardyn. Your voice is hoarse from the sleep and it breaks.

Ardyn is lying on the other bed, one leg over the other’s knee and arms behind his head. His fedora is sitting on top of his chest. He turns his head to your direction.

The assault of his beautiful amber eyes in the dim candlelight hitches the breath into your throat, and the pulsating need between your legs gets worse.

_Dammit._

“What did you do?” you repeat again, heart drumming against your ribcage.

Ardyn lifts his brows and studies your expression calmly. “My dear, I don’t think I have done anything.”

You fall silent and stare back at him. _It was just a stupid dream._ You inhale slowly, trying to force your body to calm down.

“Sleep well, darling?” Ardyn asks and gets up from the bed. Maybe someone who doesn’t know him as well wouldn’t notice it, but you can distinguish clear amusement in his sincere tone. To heighten that notion, a smug smirk spreads to his lips.

_Did nothing, my ass._

“I’ve rested enough. Let’s go,” you say and stumble up too.

You discard your torn, bloodied and ruined jacket into the garbage bin in the room. Using your dagger you cut the blanket into an improvised poncho and pull it over your head to stay warm in the sunless day.

Ardyn follows your tinkering with mild interest, waiting by the door.

It’s barely morning and the sky looks just about the same as when you fell asleep. Maybe there is a hint of lighter gray in the depressing mass of clouds, but not enough to be called daylight.

“Are you sure this is the right way to Galdin? That anyone going from there to Lestallum would use this road?” you ask, poorly trying to hide your concerns.

“Well, as far as I know, it is the only road still in use on this side of the continent,” Ardyn replies coolly. He walks a tad closer to you than on the previous day and its making you feel things you don’t want to feel. You force the sultry dream out of your mind.

“Right.”

The conversation quickly dies down, but Ardyn doesn’t seem saddened by it. He is merely enjoying your company while you stumble forward in the darkness that is all too familiar to him.

Truth be told, it’s a miracle how much better you feel after resting the night. While the wound still aches with every breath and step, the pain is easy to ignore while your thoughts run wild under the façade of your calm expression.

Disregarding the last twenty-four hours, you allow yourself to think about everything that has happened during the last few years. Time has flown by quickly and you feel like you have nothing to show for it. Your time in the City of Light has been filled with hardship and sorrow, and all of it has only accumulated to surviving. Surviving is not living. Surviving doesn’t make memories.

You miss your old life so much that you let out a waning sigh.

“Everything alright, darling?” Ardyn asks, eyes scanning over your form in case you would collapse from your injuries.

Your gaze shifts to him and back to the dark road ahead, still deep in your thoughts.

The only memories you have made during the recent years are thanks to that man, Ardyn Izunia. Thinking of him just as a man seems easier. It’s so easy, but yet so hard to sink into the place of disdain and resentment, to force yourself to loathe him. Even still, it’s not something you really want. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

The slightly widened amber eyes are still waiting for a confirmation of your wellbeing.

“I miss the day when you were just Ardyn,” you say.

It feels like that day spent in the throes of your fresh infatuation was an eternity ago. Things were simpler back then. The world had not turned bat-shit crazy and the only thing you had to worry about was how on Eos Ardyn smells so nice. It was not complicated.

Ardyn chuckles at your statement and quirks a brow in curiosity. “Whatever do you mean?”

You take a wary glance to see the smile playing at his lips. A huff and a small chuckle escape you before you can find the right words to answer.

All the conflicts inside your heart and head have been pushed away for the time being. There is no room for those until you’re completely safe from the horrors of the eternal night, and preferably alone. The yearning towards the peculiar man walking beside you is stronger than ever, but now you have the power to resist it better than before.

Yet, your heart skips another beat when you see Ardyn’s charming smile, directed straight at you.

Ardyn knows what you mean, despite his question. He just enjoys making you say it out loud.

You shrug. “I should’ve listened to you.”

The smile disappears and Ardyn’s brows furrow slightly in confusion. “Oh? While it’s always a pleasure to be proven right, I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You said I don’t want to know everything about you… You were right.”

Ardyn falls uncharacteristically silent. A blank expression took over his features the moment you uttered the last three words.

“But you can’t change the past,” you say as nonchalantly as you can in the situation to ease the tension.

“Would you?” Ardyn asks, regaining the carefree demeanor his hasty words almost betray. “If you could,” he adds in a more even tone.

There is a pause.

“…I don’t know.”

It’s a simple, true answer. You walk in silence for a few moments as Ardyn ponders how to continue the discussion.

“Wouldn’t anyone wish to change the course of their life?” he asks.

You hum, deep in thought. “From what I’ve learned from playing with the freaking _Gods_ , is that some things you thought were impossible and, and… just fairytales”–Ardyn’s expression darkens–“are actually real. Scary real.” You hug your arms around your frame as you speak, as if it would shield you from the complicated mess this world is.

“Like myself…” Ardyn exclaims quietly and you refuse to hear it.

There is something profoundly sad, but also comical in the situation: You’re walking in the middle of nowhere with your ex-lover, who turned out to be filled with daemons, and talking about something too deep for comfort while the world is toiling in eternal darkness. It makes your head hurt. You’re back to complicated and you don’t like it at all.

“Are you afraid of me?” Ardyn asks in a compelling tone that makes you turn to look at him. His expression is stern, but curious.

That is the one thing you haven’t dared to clear up to yourself. Are you afraid of him? Should you be? You have been scared of him on multiple occasions, but if Ardyn wanted to kill you, he has had ample opportunities to do so. Still, you don’t think it healthy to assume you’re completely safe with him. His mood could change on a whim and now that you know what he is capable of… No, you don’t want to think about it.

Yes, you should be scared shitless. Your heart begins to beat faster as the thoughts sink in.

“You don’t scare me,” you say more confidently than you anticipated you would be able to.

Ardyn hums pleased with your fast reply. “Good.”

The only thing you don’t have to be scared of is Ardyn hurting you on purpose. He would never do anything to deliberately hurt you. But sometimes collateral damage happens and that is something _he_ doesn’t want to think about.

You stop and turn to face Ardyn.

“I don’t– Look!”

Like a pair of small suns, you see headlights approaching in the upward horizon. Your heartbeat goes wild with the relief washing over you. You start walking towards the direction where you came from – towards the vehicle.

Ardyn lets out a thoughtful hum and nudges the brim of his hat. It looks like his play time is over.

Your steps hasten, completely forgetting about the agony pulsing on your side and trying to slow you down.

It takes forever for the car to reach you in the open terrain. You jog in the middle of the road and flail your arms to make sure the driver sees you.

The hunter driving the minivan looks like she has seen a ghost when she slows the vehicle down to a stop.

“Ramuh’s beard, what’re you two doing here at this hour? Have you been out here all night?” She is panicking and you’re sure her free hand is holding a weapon.

“We were hiding in a nearby motel for the night”–Ardyn rolls his eyes theatrically–“and only just left. Please, can you take us to Galdin? I’m supposed to meet with Gladiolus Amicitia there.”

“Oh,” is all the hunter says. She stares from you to Ardyn for a good moment before motioning to the seat next to her. “Hop in.”

You climb into the front seat, happily ditching Ardyn in the back alone. You needed the breather from his company anyways.

You explain the situation briefly to the hunter – leaving out a few facts and letting her to understand that Ardyn was with you all the time. You hope she doesn’t have a chat with Gladio about it anytime soon. That is not a conversation you’re looking forward to have with your bulky friend.

The drive to Galdin takes almost two hours and you can’t thank the hunter enough for making the stop as she is headed to Hammerhead from Old Lestallum. Ardyn remains silent, mostly, but makes a few snarky remarks about the hunters’ activities. You turn to shoot him glares that are received with an easygoing, impish grin.

Soon you will be apart again. You try not to think about it.

The signboard welcoming weary travelers to Galdin Quay has never been a more welcome sight.

With your effusive thanks, the hunter leaves you and Ardyn on the parking lot. Ardyn smoothens out his clothes and looks around as if nothing could please him more than getting out of the car. You wave as the minivan steers back to the road, then turn to look at the quay.

The sight is sad. It looks like a warzone, not a tourist attraction. The parking lot is lit by bright lights and the entrance to the beach resort is but a hole in a barricade. The beach sand is dirty and littered with trash. Most of the planted palm trees are cut in pieces. Hunters and Kingsglaive soldiers patrol the bridge between the mainland and the resort. Daemons linger around the open grounds, lurking and seeking for an opening to have a meal.

The last time you visited Galdin, sun was shining from a clear sky and the sea was glistening beautifully.

“Well,” Ardyn says, “I believe our agreement has come to an end. I promised to bring you to Galdin and here we are.” He spreads his arms and looks around, unimpressed.

“I suppose I should thank you,” you say, still staring at the desolate, dark sea.

Ardyn paces next to you. “And is that the only thanks I’m going to have?” he asks in a mildly suggestive tone, smirk adorning his lips.

You snort derisively. “And here I thought we were past this?”

“Ah. But you have enjoyed our little banter,” Ardyn says. When you turn to shoot a scowl at him, he is closer than you thought. “ _Haven’t you?_ ”

You stumble a step backwards, trying to reboot your short-circuited brain.

“It was a pleasure, my dear,” Ardyn says softly and before you can finish your reply, he cups your cheeks and leans down.

“I gue-hmpfh–”

Your legs wobble and your knees are just about to give out when he releases you from the gentle, chaste kiss. Instant, familiar heat burns your core. The urge to throw yourself back at his lips is almost too strong to resist.

“Oh,” you breathe and stare dumbfound at the insufferable smirk on Ardyn’s lips. Oh _Gods_ , how much you have missed kissing him. It’s ridiculous how your body starts to sing a symphony for him to touch you more, to feel those hands travelling down your sides and his hot breaths on your skin… You blink and exhale forcibly to shake the feeling.

Ardyn’s fingers linger on your cheeks, before his hands fall down.

You swallow. “So these are goodbyes,” you say, trying to keep your voice even and push back the sultry wants that surface.

There is the charming smirk again and it doesn’t exactly help to douse the flames inside you. Ardyn still stands close to you, alluring and so attractive that your chest aches.

“Yes, that seems to be the perfect way to make sure we’ll meet again.” His voice is soft, almost teasingly so.

You let out a wry laugh. “True enough.” Was there a hint of hope in your tone? Maybe. At least your heart is still racing from the unexpected kiss.

“In the meantime I hope no other man catches your fancy.”

You snort.

“Oh, I’m dead serious, my dear. I’d hate to see any… competition.” Ardyn sounds dead serious too – gentle and dangerous. His eyes are glinting.

You place your hand on his chest. “Competition might not be so bad. Maybe it would make you behave better,” you jest, ignoring the threat in his words and forcibly making light of the subject.

“You wound me, darling,” Ardyn murmurs.

You let out a light chuckle, gaze examining his softened expression.

It’s time to say goodbyes, but you are not ready to step away from Ardyn’s circle of influence and lose the heady lingering feeling from the kiss.

“So young and pure… There would be no worse crime in this world than to defile it,” Ardyn says half-audibly and you raise your brows in question.

“What are you talking about?” His amber eyes are still so close and with every inhale you draw in his scent.

“Your soul, my love.”

The heady warmth inside you spreads from your heart to the tips of your fingers. You tilt your head in confusion.

Ardyn doesn’t offer any explanation to your wordless question. He takes your hand gently into his to lower it off his chest. Suddenly you feel lost.

Your souls are intertwined – you both know it. Ardyn was wrong about your beauty drawing him towards you. It was always your soul; the unbearable purity of it, the bright light inside you, which he can only wish to have a fraction of to himself.

Even with all the darkness and evil on the star of Eos, Ardyn wants to preserve that one pure soul. Even if it means he has to give up chasing it for himself.

“Go now.” There is well concealed sadness in his expression, but the intent is stern.

You nod slightly. Turning around and taking the first step is the hardest thing you’ve had to do on the short and eventful trip. It feels as if a piece of your soul is ripped off, left with the man standing behind you.

With heavy footsteps you walk to the hunter guarding barricade. It only takes a mention of Gladio’s name to make comprehension lit the hunter’s face and he motions you to follow.

You have to turn around and look at Ardyn one more time, but the chance is lost with the loud sounds of someone running on the pier, forcing your head to snap up to look.

“You’re safe!”

You’re staring straight into the relieved expression in Gladio’s eyes as his face comes closer, so close that you’re about to let out a confused hum. You think he is about to embrace you, but then his hands cup your cheeks and your breathing hitches. Gladio presses his mouth over yours, holding you tenderly but with fervor.

Eyes wide open, you stare into his furrowed brows as he kisses you.

 _Why… is Gladio kissing… me?_ The thoughts are slow to form and in the meanwhile you’re frozen still. His touch is so warm and careful, and your mind is screaming for you to answer to the feelings laid out bare.

But you can’t make your body react. You just stand there, cold and still like a dead fish.

_Ardyn…_

Your sense snaps back.

_Ardyn!_

You push Gladio away and your heart starts to gallop. You spin around. The parking lot is empty. Your whole frame is shaking as fear envelops you.

“I–” Gladio starts to say, but you interrupt him.

“Why did you do that?!” you scream in panic, eyes still searching the black shapes by the edge of the light. Nothing is moving and the scenery is silent.

“Sorry. I’m glad you’re okay.” Gladio sounds hurt and confused.

“You don’t understand!” you turn to him, desperate to explain yourself, but whether the words are meant for Ardyn or Gladio, you don’t know. “You’re just a friend to me! We could never–”

“I get that. I’m sorry, okay? I just got… carried away.”

 _Carried away?_ You know that feeling. You inhale deeply, trying to calm your trembling limbs and hammering heart. What if Ardyn saw Gladio kissing you? You can’t lose him – he is like a brother to you.

“Yeah, it’s been a really stressful night.” You examine Gladio’s face, trying to find any hints of something you should know or notice.

“I’m just glad you’re safe now,” Gladio sighs, “Must’ve been one hell of a walk.”

“Like I’ve told you a million times: I can take care of myself,” you reply dismissively. You lift your makeshift poncho just enough to peek at the bandages around your waist.

Gladio’s brows etch together in worry when he sees you’re injured. “Yeah, come, let’s sit you down.”

After making sure the stitches are holding up and convincing Gladio that all you need is to rest, you lie down on a worn bed in one of the rooms. For once you’re relieved to have a moment alone. The last twenty-four hours have been stressful indeed, not just the night.

Relaxing every muscle in your body, you focus on breathing. It doesn’t take long until you’re walking the borderline between sleep and daydreaming, letting your thoughts wander and your body rest.

It’s not really a surprise that soon your reveries turn into Ardyn. The chaste kiss he laid on your lips makes your heart flip when you think about it. Your very soul is torn as your body begins to hum with need, but your mind is screaming “ _no_ ”.

 _Don’t think about him,_ your second thoughts beg of you.

You can feel his phantom weight against your body.

_Why can’t I just fall for someone like Gladio? Or even Tredd?_

You snort at your own desperate, delirious thought. Your heart is so swollen and bruised that falling for someone won’t be happening anytime soon. You’re _yearning_ for something you can’t have, something that won’t be good for you. Those curious amber eyes, that teasing smirk and igniting touch.

The unconscious bliss of sleep claiming you is a salvation only until Gladio comes to wake you up because you have to eat something. It’s time to focus on survival again as you fall into a familiar rhythm. You and Gladio both pretend the kiss never happened and he doesn’t ask about the previous night when you tell him not to make you re-live it. Still, you notice a faint softness in his demeanor towards you, but it only amounts to annoying you and makes you lament about the desires of your foolish heart.

Stepping into the main promenade of the City of Light a day later, you’re greeted by a familiar red-head and an impish smile. You don’t bother to hide your audible groan.

“You’re back. I was starting to get worried that your boyfriend can’t handle some daemons,” Tredd smirks. Good thing Gladio is still helping out with unloading the truck.

“Better than you.” You continue walking towards your apartment, but Tredd follows. “And he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, sure.”

 _I wonder if Ardyn would kill Tredd if I slept with him,_ you think and roll your eyes.

It’s good to be home again.


	7. VERSE 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are finally are. It was painful to write. Thank you for tagging along with me on this story. I hope you enjoy reading this ❤️

_“You seem to have lost your fire… Would you like some help in rekindling it?”_

You can’t utter a word of reply. Ardyn’s grip on your wrists hurts. His weight over you is so familiar and inviting, but you’re stunned with fear and something else you’ve yet to name – a boiling mix of emotions that renders you unable to move a muscle.

“Well, what is it going be… my love?” Ardyn asks, lips moving against the pulse point of your neck.

You shiver and a wavering exhale slips past your lips. You can feel Ardyn’s intoxicating breaths on your skin. Every spot he touches is burning – your wrists, held up with one hand above your head, his knees against your sides, his nose caressing your neck, his other hand slowly making its way up underneath your shirt.

You want it. You want all of it so bad. And you should not.

_Why is he doing this?_

“I… I… We don’t… _W-why?_ ” Your voice shakes and you can’t think why. Are you afraid or nervous? Your heart is in your throat, making speaking even more difficult.

Ardyn doesn’t stop trailing fire on your skin. A tingling sensation travels along your spine.

“You’re becoming a dangerous habit…” he husks softly into your ear. It’s more of a hum, content with an almost excited lilt in it. His fingers travel over your wound before meeting the side of your breast.

Your head is dizzy from the touch; your body is yearning to be indulged more with the soft, exploring caresses, but your wrists hurt under the vice grip. You make a faint effort to wiggle them free.

“T-this is exactly what you… what you wanted a-all along,” you stammer. You both know the words are not an admonition for Ardyn to stop or get back. It scares you. You’re trying the ice to see how much it’ll take for it to break without realizing _you_ will be the only one breaking. In your mind, the decision is already done; you just don’t know it yet.

It’s hard to breathe with Ardyn hovering over you, strands of his hair on your face, floating their familiar, comforting scent into your consciousness. How did you end up on the floor again? Your mind is muddled with partial thoughts.

“Is it not what _you_ wanted, my love?” Ardyn coos, pulling back so that he can assault you with his amber eyes. The look is smug, curious and makes your heart race. The pulsating ache between your legs makes itself known without your conscious approval.

“ _I_ want to make you mine,” Ardyn continues when you can’t give him a reply.

You’re in the crossroads of the conflict inside you. Your body is screaming yes, but your mind is telling you no. It’s up to your heart and that is not a wise decision as it has already betrayed you numerous times.

Ardyn stares into your eyes, waiting. His thumb brushes the side of your breast; the grip on your wrists loosens. You shiver involuntarily and your mouth opens into a sharp inhale. Ardyn’s smile widens into a daemonic one. You can’t give him your consent, but you can’t tell him to stop either.

Your eyes close in anticipation when Ardyn leans down.

A lightning fast rush of electricity travels up your spine when your lips touch. His kisses are demanding, careful at first, but soon become fierce. You moan against his lips and try to gain space to take a breath. Your hands are finally free and they tangle into Ardyn’s dark locks without hesitation, pulling him back to allow you to inhale his dizzying scent. He breathes into your mouth. Part of you waits for him to say something witty, but instead his lips crash straight back onto yours.

Ardyn kisses you until you’re using every ounce of strength you can gather to push him back and breathe. His eyes are glinting hungrily when he forces you back against the floor, denying every chance you had to sit up.

Instead of attacking your lips again, he dives down and opens your belt with one hand.

A mild surge of panic and exhilaration courses through you, but you don’t get the opportunity voice out your feelings. Only quick, wavering and panting exhales come out.

While Ardyn holds you still with an impossibly staunch grip on your shoulder and hip, his lips travel up from your exposed navel, not sparing an inch of your skin on their way. You’re writhing and burning, trying to bend your body to either free yourself or to give it what it wants. Your core is aching, begging to be satiated and pleading for a hint of friction.

You try to say Ardyn’s name when you feel his teeth on your neck, making their marks down to your clavicle. The pain is jumbled in the back of your mind, unable to properly gain foothold. You focus on breathing while Ardyn tortures you with pleasure, licking and teasing your skin, just waiting for you to say what he wants to hear.

The flames inside you grow higher as he makes his desire towards you clear. Your reactions are constrained at first, but biting your lips becomes so much harder when you try to gasp for air to cope with the shivers Ardyn is causing. His hand roams freely on your healthy side, dipping briefly into your pants so that your hips buckle up and you make him smirk against your skin.

The raw sounds you’re letting out increase in volume and before you know it, you’re chanting Ardyn’s name. You have missed his touch so bad. He hums in the midst of kisses, pleased with the way you’re losing control over your own body.

“Let’s stoke that fire of yours, shall we?” Ardyn suggests dangerously gently.

You barely realize what happens when he swiftly turns you over to your stomach on the cold floor and begins to tear down your pants and underwear. An involuntarily mewl escapes you, but it does nothing to slow him down. His hand immediately follows the urgent motion and feels out your slick, already dripping from the need to be stretched and filled.

“ _So_ eager for me,” he chuckles in a low tone.

You lie frozen still, hardly breathing as Ardyn opens his trousers just enough to let out his hardened member. His hand massages appreciatively your lower back and hips as he tugs his shaft in anticipation.

“You’re worth the eternity of wait,” Ardyn murmurs, settles over you and pushes himself in.

You let out a lewd gasp while your body is constrained against the floor. He feels so amazing taut against your inner walls that white stars speckle your vision. You try to push your upper body up with your arms, but Ardyn pins them behind your back, making you stumble down into an uncomfortable position, cheek against the dirty floor.

You can feel him coursing through your veins like a liquid fire. His scent envelops you, messing with your brain. Every rational thought is burned away until you can no longer remember your own name.

Your pupils are dilated from the pleasure. Your knees are hurting from being pressed against the hard floor, but despite that you lift your hips, desperate to have him deeper inside you.

The side of your face rests heavily against the surface and you see how every hot, shallow exhale sets the dust on the floor dancing. Ardyn’s weight over you hardly lets you breathe and you can do nothing but sway with the torturous rhythm.

Ardyn reaches his hand underneath you and you moan against your will – multiple times – as he rolls his finger over your slick, sensitive nub, trying to have you scream.

It doesn’t take much for the silence of the night to be pierced by your pleasure.

Your body and core are trembling, you’re wailing with every strong thrust, trying to keep up with the rhythm, but your back hurts from being arched so forcibly to meet Ardyn’s hips. The pain from the wound on your side is masked by the ecstasy.

“You want to come, don’t you… my Queen?” Ardyn asks softly, but his breaths are heavy. His pace stays deathly steady, stretching you with each stroke, bulging your stomach with each deep thrust.

“Yes… please,” you plead breathily, mind filled with nothing but lust and haze, “Please… _Your Majesty_. I’m yours.”

Ardyn’s eyes widen only for the fraction of a second before he takes you again, hips ramming against you so hard that you cry out loud.

Before your cry dies, the tingling sensation of pain stops and Ardyn pulls out. He turns you over onto your back like a ragdoll and a loud sigh is all you can manage as he sinks into your heated, sopping core again. You grab his arms immediately, positioning yourself more comfortably.

“Look at me,” Ardyn orders as he regains his old pace, “I want to see the look on your face.” There is a hint of the gentleness in his tone, but his motions are still rough as he takes you hard.

You force yourself to keep your eyes open, staring into the amber irises hovering above you as your orgasm begins to creep closer again. The gaze alone is enough to draw you breathless and you start to act on instinct. Since Ardyn is no longer holding your arms still, you dive a greedy hand between your bodies.

He gives you a dirty smirk and lets out an approving grunt as you begin to pleasure yourself, rocking your hips against his with the motion.

While Ardyn was completely dominating you just seconds ago, you’re now making love as equals, eye to eye.

“I have missed you so badly…” Ardyn’s tone is so low and dripping with the deep seduction you love that you quiver.

You hum in reply, not even blinking while holding the eye contact.

“The purity of your soul is the perfect counterpart for me,” he whispers, so close to your lips, “What I wouldn’t give to paint it as black as mine...”

“It’s yours,” you sigh, almost wistfully, “Do with it as you will.”

He kisses you deeply, passionately; in a way that makes your head spin.

Your walls start clenching around Ardyn’s shaft, but he rides out your orgasm hard, barely giving you enough indulgence to enjoy it. The room is filled with your lewd gasps and moans, and shaky, heavy breaths in the midst of the wet slapping. You plead for more, desperate to have him deeper, harder. You want to come as many times as is needed for you to forget everything and to make up for the lost time.

You were made for him, for this. Nothing else, no one else, could ever even compare to the feelings Ardyn rouses in you. Your fingernails dig into his back, urging him forward until he is exhausted and you’re spent.

Ardyn pushes so deep inside you that the stretch has you see stars. His labored breaths are replaced with yearning grunts in your ears, breath fanning on your neck. He is desperate to feel you. He wants to be closer, to hold you and never let go. His member pulses inside you with his release. He has never been so vulnerable and at loss of control with you before. Ardyn’s breathing hitches as he comes inside you, pulling your body even closer from the hip.

Your legs lock around his waist and you push your mound against him, grinding your swollen and sore nub for the last bit of friction you need.

You break again. The tingling sensation crashes down your body and cascades hot and cold waves in its wake. You’re struggling to draw in enough air; Ardyn is holding you so tightly.

You are purified by the flames of sated lust. Every contradicting thought, every disputing feeling is gone. There is peace and serenity in their place and a smoldering pile of embers that is rapidly dying out.

Ardyn’s hand rests on the curve of your hip, grip loosened and careful. Bruised flowers are already forming where his fingers dug into you.

“Ardyn… I love you,” you breathe out. Your core is still mildly convulsing from the pleasure. The itching need is still nagging in the back of your mind. You were apart for so long.

_How did I even think I could be without him?_

Ardyn rests his forehead against your shoulder, slowly heaving from the exertion. It’s the first moment he stops to think after having you so close again. Your scent, softness and warmth – the feeling of _you_ – had an unexpectedly dire influence on him, and consequences.

“Darling…  I never stopped loving you either,” he replies softly.

You’re clutching to Ardyn’s body, arms around his torso. For dreading that moment so much, you don’t really regret how things turned out. You never stopped loving Ardyn. Each possible outcome would’ve had its compunctions and by not being able to choose between what is rational and what your heart wants, Ardyn made the choice for you.

You both know this is the final decision in your game. There is no going back. You will face the future together for as long as you’re allowed to.

“You always liked to play with fire,” your murmur as your hands move to caress Ardyn’s locks.

His weight lifts from you and your heart elates at seeing those amber eyes, gazing down on you.

“My heart’s desire… so close now,” he hums content.

Ardyn kisses you with surprising tenderness. Your tongue skims over his lips, greedily trying to mess up his gentle intentions.

Eventually, you succeed in the never-ending night.

–

The bright lights of Galdin Quay make you squint. It’s like an oasis in the middle of a deserted, daemon-infested land. You feel shrapnel of reluctance stinging inside you. That desert-land is now your home. You chose so.

The only thing powerful enough to pull you away from Ardyn before your eternity together begins is the sense of duty and debt towards your friends: You don’t want them to think you died on that journey. They need to get closure, as soft as you can provide in the situation.

You’re already wording a letter in your mind. One in which you implore your friends not to look for you. Maybe a promise of seeing them again someday. Maybe.

You turn to Ardyn whose steps have slowed down as you draw closer to the lights.

“This is it, then,” you say, “Do I look like I’ve been through hell?”

Ardyn’s eyes flicker towards the wound on your side, but he manages a dry smile at your attempt on humor. Your clothes are dirty and torn, and your skin is bruised and spotted with dry blood, but you’re very much alive. Your eyes are bright, filled with the life Ardyn so much yearns for.

He caresses your cheek. “So young and pure… There would be no worse crime in this world than to defile it.”

“I want you to,” you sigh longingly, leaning against the touch and place your hand on his.

Ardyn hums in gratification and a teasing glint flashes through his eyes. “If you were not so stubborn this could’ve happened years ago.”

You know what he is referring to as it is the only topic you have been talking about ever since leaving the motel: Your relationship. You have already been through everything numerous times, exhausted every possibility, every option. There is no more room for arguments. Every path leads you to each other.

“Well, you wouldn’t like me as much if I wasn’t stubborn.”

Ardyn chuckles with mirth. “True enough.”

You gaze into each other’s eyes in silent harmony.

“You should go, my love.” Ardyn’s tone is soft with a barely distinguishable hint of pride in it. He would have no other, that much is certain.

“I’ll come to you. Just… just wait for me.” Your hand lingers on his for a moment before falling down.

Ardyn hums in thought while his fingers travel down to your jaw. “Are you sure you want to return to Insomnia?”

“It is my home,” you reply without hesitation and push up on your toes to kiss him.

–

Days turn into short months and years. You have closed your eyes from what is happening outside your bliss with Ardyn. You can see his suffering every day as the darkness gets more intense and the only consolation you can provide is to stay beside him. Not once you waver from your decision to come to Insomnia.

You’re free to walk the streets. You dream of rebuilding the city, of exploring the familiar paths again that now lay in ruins. You steer clear of the Kingsglaive members doing reconnaissance, and the daemons lurking in the nooks and crannies avoid you. Sometimes Ardyn joins you just to listen to the dull stories of your past life in Insomnia.

As time passes, Ardyn becomes more and more impatient, often sulking in solitude, but always later apologizes for his actions. His rugged, handsome face shows marks of tiredness – he yearns for the final rest. You both fear and wait for it.

You hold Ardyn’s hand, telling him to confide in you and that is usually when he carries you to the royal quarters to make love to you. You can’t get a word out of him, nor can you offer him any solace besides your warm body against him.

When fire starts raining down from the pitch black sky of Insomnia, you know the day has come.

You make your way down into the throne room to wait. You have no part in this play, but yours is a first row seat in the otherwise empty theater.

When the fires finally go out, the Citadel grows eerie silent. You sit on the floor, clutching your knees to your chest, back against a statue at the feet of the golden throne. You are alone, waiting, wondering, with no conception of how much time has already passed. The cool air is making your body numb. The marble floor radiates coldness that pierces right into your very soul, or what is left of it.

Familiar footsteps start as so quiet you don’t at first realize he is here. You raise your head slowly as they become closer, gaining speed and volume.

Ardyn walks up the steps to the throne, but as soon as he sees your frame, cradled at the statue’s feet, his path diverts towards you.

“My beloved…” he husks.

You look at his face. The expression is unreadable, almost mixed, but yet calm.

“I’m here,” you say quietly.

Ardyn extends his hand and helps you up. His touch is burning in the cool eternal night and it sends your soul alight.

“It’s time.”

He pulls you against him and you lean on his chest, slowly inhaling the scent that makes you feel at ease. There is already a hole inside you and you’re scared of how much it will still grow over the night. If it will end up swallowing you.

Ardyn places a kiss on your forehead and steps back, letting the cold air take you again.

“You should stay here.”

You don’t trust your ability to form words, so you only nod as a reply. Whatever may come, everything between you has been said already – numerous times – to prepare for this moment.

Ardyn sits on the throne and you’re left to the shadows, a silent guest in the theater of misery and loss.

The large double doors creak open into the throne room. You stand perfectly still, straining your ears, and almost jump at hearing Prompto’s voice for the first time in years. His voice is different, yet recognizable. More mature.

“What is that?” he asks. He sounds terrified.

The Lucian crystal lies chained on top of the throne like a taunting display. After spending hours and hours staring at it during your time in Insomnia, the sight has instilled deep fear and respect into you. It is not from this world and everything about it screams such.

Four pairs of steps walk warily closer to the throne and you give in to the urge to shift your position so you can see from behind the statue.

“I’m afraid you’re out of luck,” Ardyn jeers. “The throne brings you here? It seats only one.”

The gloating tone almost makes you smile in the mix of emotions. He is enjoying the situation. You want to go see him and your friends – if they still consider you as one. You want to stop it all from happening. It feels so silly suddenly, even though you know what’s at stake.

After a few moments you realize you can’t move your legs or form any sound.

It hurts more than any pain Ardyn has ever caused to you. He didn’t trust you to control yourself after all.

“Off my chair, jester. The king sits there.”

Noctis looks and sounds so mature compared to the young prince he was when you last saw each other over a decade ago. Your heart is pounding anxiously inside your chest. You have missed him so much and suddenly realizing that makes tears well up in your eyes.

You make another effort to move or speak, not even trying to keep it down this time, but to no avail. Ardyn would do something like that. He would have no one, not even you, spoil his great victory. It feels like something is constricting your throat and the tears start to fall from your eyes.

While you knew all this time it was not meant to be, in the end you still find yourself hoping you could have changed him.

Ardyn muses appreciatively at Noctis’s fiery response. He reaches his hand towards you, and your heart and tears stop.

“There is someone I’d like you to meet – an old friend if you will,” he says and motions for you to enter.

You jerk in surprise but quickly regain control over your body. You step out from the shadows behind the throne, but before you can reach Ardyn’s outstretched hand, his attention has turned away.

“ _My bride._ ”

There is no way to hide the shock on your friends’ faces. Gladio says your name quietly and Ignis’s expression melts into a mix of disgust and comprehension. A soft gasp escapes Prompto and he takes a step forward, but Gladio stops him.

“What have you done to her?!” Noctis spits angrily.

You walk beside Ardyn, hand coming to rest on his arm. He doesn’t react to your touch. You hold your chin up and your mouth shut like a ghost.

“I’ve merely given her everything she wanted,” Ardyn replies nonchalantly, slight lilt of pride in the tone.

You’re on display like a prize in a showcase – to be seen, not heard.

Ardyn turns to you and for a fraction of a second your eyes meet. There is no other way to describe the look that passes through him than a plea for forgiveness. You let go of his arm, mind and face blank from the mix of emotions tumbling inside you.

He turns back to your friends and the moment is lost forever. He has always been like this, the one to leave without asking you.

“Oh, Noct… How I have waited for this. Longer than you could ever know,” Ardyn says. Only you can detect the hints of relief and desperation in the tone. “Tonight, the dreams of the blood royal… come to an end.”

“Spite’s all that’s kept him going,” Gladio says through gritted teeth.

“Talk about a grudge,” Prompto scoffs.

“Ardyn sits the throne?” Ignis asks quietly.

“Not for long,” Noctis huffs, “This is my ascension.”

Ardyn makes a sudden motion and if you were able to form a sound, a scream would have already escaped you.

Orbs of black miasma hit the chests of your three friends and they fall down like ragdolls without even a chance of fighting back. You stare hopelessly as Noctis watches them collapse.

“What did you do?!” he yells, unable to do anything.

Ardyn is gone from your side. You turn to search for him with your gaze and see his wide gloating grin. It twists your insides to see the monster inside him on the loose, in control instead of the man you know he really is.

“They have no place in this, the battle of kings!” Ardyn spreads his arms, taunting his opponent. “Come, Noctis!”

You hear the familiar snap as he warps down from the edge of the hole in the wall. The air hangs heavy in the throne room. Your chest is rising and falling rapidly. Noctis stands at the root of the stairs, staring at you with fury in his eyes.

“Noctis–” you begin, but he interrupts you.

“This does not concern you. If you come in my way…” Noctis summons his sword.

You take the hint and fall a step back. You look into each other’s eyes. Gone are the days when you teased each other about trivial things, when you had not a worry in the world traveling in the backseat of the Regalia. A certain load of pressing matters was always laid on Noctis’s shoulders, but there was a time when you were able to aid him by sharing those concerns. There was a time when you gave him hope.

“Go. End his suffering,” you sigh.

A look of confusion and surprise passes Noctis’s face, but it’s gone before he darts past you and warps down to the square.

After all the atrocities Ardyn has done, all the sweet and tender moments, the heat, the pain and despair, you find it unbelievable that this moment has arrived. It was always so far away, like some distant dream that painted the horizon black. Were you so blind with your infatuation that you didn’t see it creep closer as the years went by? Or was it because the sky was already black that the approach was indistinguishable?

Whatever the reason, you can’t find it in yourself to regret your decisions. You had your time with Ardyn, stolen though it might have been.

You gaze at the still bodies of your friends. Eerie, black miasma surrounds them, but you know they’re unharmed, for now.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur and walk down the steps before the throne. You don’t pause or spare a look back before leaving the room.

If Ardyn would have made the end any easier for you, you don’t think you could have let him go. The monster inside him is both an act and a reality. You know the real him is the one _truly_ in control.

In the end, he couldn’t let you close enough. He couldn’t trust you enough. It’s a numbing thought that gnaws away at the back of your mind. If only you could have had one more chance. But at the same time you know it was always impossible.

You wait inside the Citadel, trying not to listen to the sounds of combat coming from outside. There are groans of pain, clatter of metal against metal and noises that cannot have any pleasant connotations in any connection. It goes on forever. You’re cold again, just like when you cradled your knees against your chest at the root of the golden statue. It feels like it happened an eternity ago.

Part of you wants to go back to Prompto, Gladio and Ignis, but the strong pull towards the square outside keeps you frozen still until all sounds quieten down.

It’s time to turn to the last page of your love story with Ardyn.

You push the Citadel doors open just in time to see Ardyn standing in the middle of the square, Noctis’s sword rammed through his chest. The kings of yore are above, circling the square and engulfing it in eerie blue light. Just looking at their silent judgment makes you sick and invokes a rebellious wrath inside you.

Ardyn begins to fall.

Your body doesn’t move fast enough, no matter how much you try to rush down the stairs to the man who holds your heart within his.

Ardyn lies on the ground and small droplets of rain run down his cheeks, clearing paths into the dirt on his skin. Noctis is crouched next to him, shoulders slumped, weapons gone and nothing but sorrow in his expression.

“Now it is over, Majesty,” Ardyn says calmly. “What will you do? Banish the daemons and bring peace? Erase me from history once more?”

Your heart wrenches. The only sounds are the light rain, your steps and Ardyn’s weak words that despite the volume ring clear in the square.

“This time… you can rest in peace. Close your eyes… forevermore,” Noctis says quietly.

You crash onto the tiled ground into your knees. A feign rush of relief fills you as soon as your fingers touch Ardyn and you pull him into your arms. He is cold; so cold and covered in dirt and his clothes damp that his sorry state makes you choke on a sob.

_He doesn’t deserve this._

“I will await you… in the beyond,” Ardyn murmurs.

You cradle his head on your lap and carefully stroke the auburn hair. Clots of blood in it stain your fingers. Something so immutable, eternal and strong is reduced to a hardly breathing lump in your arms. But it is what he wanted, what he has wanted all along. You always knew there was no way you could convince him otherwise and as per your silent agreement you had never tried. You had your time together and would cherish the memories as long as you were allowed to walk the face of Eos.

Ardyn’s gaze is directed at you, but his eyes see nothing but a figurine filled with light. His only regret is that he no longer possesses the strength to caress your cheek, to tell you not to mourn.

His body begins to fade into embers that float into the sky and the weight gradually leaves from your arms.

While Noctis is barely able to stand up, it’s impossible for him to utter a word. He stares as your heart breaks into tiny pieces that scatter on the Citadel square. If there only had been another way, he thinks. The sight of your deep sorrow and creeping loneliness is harder to watch than the battle he just fought and won.

For the life of him, he cannot understand why or how you could feel like that, but he cannot deny that he is witnessing the death of hope and the shattering of true love right in front of his eyes.

If there only had been another way, but Ardyn played his cards. On top of all the havoc he brought, _he_ was the one to do this to you. Stringing you along was a selfish, desperate act covered in shades of grey. It was not right or wrong. Nobody could justly judge the actions that had sprung from love so deep. People, even immortal ones, cannot decide who they fall in love with.

Noctis lays his eyes down as he realizes the streaks on his cheeks are clearing out dirt and blood. He would not have wished the burden that is making your shoulders shake compulsively, to anyone. Especially not to you. At the same time he knows you’re one of the few people who can survive that.

Ardyn is almost gone and your vision is blurred from the tears.

It was expected, only a matter of time, but there was no way to prepare for it. Your heart lies scattered around you as you try to cling to the remains of your lover. Your time together was too short.

There is but one thought that brings you solace: Ardyn can rest in peace now, and you’re free to live again. In what kind of world, you don’t yet know, but one thing is certain.

You will be lonely without him.


End file.
